


12.16 to Infinity

by MelissaBosquez



Series: 12.16 to Infinity and Beyond [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, BAMF Howard Stark, BAMF Tony Stark, Brief suicidal thoughts, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen, Howard Stark Lives, Howard Stark Was Not Abusive In This Verse, Howard Stark's Good Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Maria Stark Lives, Maria Stark's Good Parenting, Pepperony - Freeform, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28466949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaBosquez/pseuds/MelissaBosquez
Summary: Tony thought that between getting his parents back, mentoring Spiderman, marrying the love of his life and having a child that he had earned a break. Unfortunately, as always, the universe had other plans.ORThanos is coming.
Relationships: Howard Stark & Tony Stark, Howard Stark/Maria Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Maria Stark & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: 12.16 to Infinity and Beyond [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058456
Comments: 102
Kudos: 110





	1. In Your Heart Shall Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Welcome to the next story in the 12.16 series. If you are a new reader and have not read "12.16.1991" yet you may need to go back and check that one out to understand how we made it to this point. :) Also if you did not read the bonus chapter of 12.16, I have included it in the beginning of this story to ensure everyone is up to date. :) 
> 
> Now you may have seen the warnings and I just wanted to say that the deaths in this fic are canon compliant for the most part and best of all temporary...eventually. So, read with caution.
> 
> Happy 2021 everyone! <3

**December 16th, 2017**

“We should probably get back to the reception at some point,” Pepper mumbled into where she was snuggled in against Tony’s bare chest.

Tony brought his hand up to continue his ministrations, running his fingers through her hair. He made a hum of acknowledgement to her statement but otherwise made no further move to get up out of the warm bed.

Pepper sighed and snuggled in further, contradicting her own words. “We should go back out there.”

“Why? It’s our wedding, we’re expected to ditch the party early anyways.”

“Yeah but we were supposed to at least say goodbye first. I mean I have my parents out there, and there’s Mama Rhodes…”

“I don’t think that anyone is really going to mind all that much. I’m sure they’ve all probably already guessed exactly where we’ve slinked off to and are indulging themselves in the free cake and booze while it lasts.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t say goodnight to Morgan,” she said wistfully. Being a parent could be so absolutely maddening when sometimes all you wanted was to have five minutes away from your kid and then when you actually were granted that break all you could do was think about how much you missed them. 

This time she could hear the hesitation in Tony’s voice. “She’ll be okay for one night.”

“Yeah but we leave in the morning for our honeymoon…”

“This is good practice for while we’re away. She’s got both of our parents with her, all of her uncles and our friends,” his voice sounded less sure with each word that he forced from his mouth.

Pepper smiled knowingly against him, mentally beginning the countdown until Tony inevitably cracked. She got all the way down to the count of two before he was gently pushing her off of him and sitting up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

“You’re right, it would be rude to just leave without a single word,” he snatched up his boxer briefs and trousers and hastily began pulling them back on. “Lets go do another lap around the party, eat some more cake, have another drink and say bon voyage and all that, then in the morning it’s just you, me and a plane ride to Venice,” he winked. 

Pepper laughed softly and followed his lead, getting back into her dress and going to the bathroom to freshen up her hair and makeup.

“How do I look?” she asked him, when she finished.

“You mean do you look thoroughly debauched anymore?”

“Something like that,” she said and playfully nudged him, but he caught her hand in his and pulled her close to him, resting his forehead against hers.

“Mrs. Stark, you look positively radiant.”

She allowed herself to lean back against him, reveling in the way it felt to have his arms wrapped around her. He tilted his head ever so slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the bridge of her nose.

“Shall we?” 

“We shall,” she grinned and followed him back down the stairs. 

They hadn’t been back outside in the chilly December air for more than a minute when she felt it. All the hair on her arms and the back of her neck was suddenly standing on its ends and it felt like those summer night heat storms she grew up with in the midwest, when the air was practically vibrating with electricity. She turned to see if Tony felt it too, and he evidently did but he was smiling and that alleviated some of her worries. 

“I guess Thor didn’t want to miss the party after all,” he said pointing to the first flash of rainbow light in the air as it approached, “I hope he brought some Asgardian booze. Maybe we can see if that will get Steve drunk.”

The static shock feeling only increased the closer the light came towards the house until finally the light ended in their front yard with a loud crash, like a meteor into the earth, only when the dust cleared, Thor was not standing there, only a crater of scorched earth.

“Is he hurt?!” Tony asked, and immediately ran off the porch and to the smoking crater. 

The commotion brought the attention of the other guests, particularly the other Avengers as she raced after Tony and they all followed.

“Tony…” she called as she came up behind him only to gasp. 

Gasping and heaving in the crater was a beat up and tattered man that they hadn’t seen in nearly two years now. His eyes were wild as he looked all around, the other Avengers circling around as the last bit of green disappeared from his neck. 

Tony’s eyes were wide and his mouth agape as he crouched down next to him. “Bruce???”

Bruce just gasped and inhaled a couple more deep breaths, trying to calm his heaving chest. Tony cautiously reached out and placed a grounding hand upon his shoulder then glanced back at Pepper and the others with a haunted look. The same one he used to unknowingly give her just after the Ultron debacle. The one that had been present since he flew that nuke into space and destroyed an alien army. 

Pepper felt her stomach churn and her heart clinch, her mind already coming to terms with the fact that there was probably no way they were going to make that plane to Venice now.

“T-tony,” Bruce gasped, grabbing him by the shirt to turn his attention back around.

“Can we get him some water, please?” Tony yelled behind him and someone brought him a water bottle and he helped sit Bruce up and drink from it.

Howard came up to stand beside her, giving her arm an encouraging squeeze as he took in the scene. Maria stood at the edge of the tent with Morgan held tightly in her arms. 

“Tony,” Bruce began again, his voice hoarse from disuse and obvious abuse while in his Hulk form.

“Where have you been, Bruce? I looked everywhere for you…”

Bruce knocked the water bottle away and clutched at Tony’s shirt again, his dirty hands leaving streaks across the white fabric in his obvious desperation. “We have to run. Now.”

“Run? Bruce you’re not making any sense…”

“TONY!” he yelled, his voice merging with the Hulk’s for one terrifying moment, until he took a shuddering breath and continued. “Thanos is coming,” he cried out desperately and then his grip slackened and his entire body went limp as he slowly faded into unconsciousness, having finally relayed the desperate message he had been carrying across the universe. 

Pepper felt her heart stop, knowing that this one moment was suddenly going to change _everything_.

* * *

“This is all my fault,” Tony said, later that night, collapsing into a heap on their bed. 

They were no longer at the cabin. After Bruce had collapsed there had been a unanimous decision to take Bruce back to the Avenger’s Compound for medical attention. Luckily his injuries didn’t seem too severe, mostly just battling with dehydration and exhaustion with a superficial wound here and there. He was currently one floor away sleeping it off under the careful watch of the team.

There wasn’t much help that Pepper could provide but she wasn’t going to be left behind on her wedding night, so they left Morgan in the care of both sets of grandparents and went along with her husband, the dreams of their honeymoon in Venice fading away like the fairy lights in their rearview mirror as they left the wedding reception, left their home. 

Still. 

She found it hard to blame Tony even now. He was duty bound and she had long resigned herself to the fact that she would never be able to get him to stop. He didn’t do it on purpose or to hurt her, she knew that now. It didn’t make it any easier though.

“You’re a powerful man, Tony Stark, but I don’t think even you could control Bruce crashing back down to earth on our wedding day,” she said crawling over towards him and snuggling into his side. 

Tony was still in his wedding suit, minus the jacket, vest and tie, but thankfully they had kept some clothes stocked at the compound in case of emergencies, so her wedding dress hung in the mostly emptied closet while she wore sweats and one of Tony’s old t-shirts. 

“I’m cursed. What was I thinking, getting married today of all days? It’s like I was inviting trouble,” he groaned and covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry, Pep.”

He dropped his hands from his face and pressed her body closer against his own. She could feel the tension in his muscles when he held her like this. He brought one of his hands up to brush across her face, pushing back the stray hairs from covering her eyes before gently cupping her cheek and rubbing his thumb comfortingly against her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. And you’re not cursed.”

Tony pulled an exaggerated face.

“Well, maybe only a little, but let's look at the positives. Bruce is safe and home at least.”

“Yes, and bringing us ominous messages of death. He woke up for a little bit...still out of it but he gave us some basics of what happened…” he trailed off, averting his eyes from hers and dropping his hand from her face.

Pepper grabbed his hand back in hers and squeezed tightly. “I’m here for you,” she said reassuringly and kissed the back of his hand.

Tony forced a smile that fell as quickly as it came, his eyes narrowing as he squeezed her hand tightly. “Thor’s dead,” he finally forced out in a hoarse whisper.

Pepper gasped. That was not even close to what she was expecting to hear tonight. “Thanos?” she repeated the name that had fallen from Bruce’s lips in horror.

Tony nodded slightly. “Long story short, Bruce and Thor were making their way to earth and this _Thanos,_ ” he spat the name with disdain, “killed Loki, killed Thor. Blew up an entire ship of Asgardians. Not one of them was even able to slow the bastard down.”

The situation was even worse than Pepper could have imagined. Thor was a literal god, powerful, invincible. Or at least she had always thought as much. The few brief interactions she'd had with the man never gave her any reason to question as much. For him to be...gone. Her heart lurched in her chest as she tried to keep her breathing even. She looked up at Tony to find him staring off into the distance, eyes clouded with anger and sadness. If this monster was able to destroy Thor...what hope did her self proclaimed 'man in a can' really have to stand up against this guy and survive? 

She wanted to say something to him. Anything really. Words of comfort or reassurance. To express her sorrow over the fallen Avenger. To join Tony in his anger and frustration over a situation that had been entirely out of his control. The words would not come though. They remained lodged behind the lump in her throat that grew larger with each worry that flashed through her mind. Instead, she squeezed her body as closely against her new husband's as possible, wanting to memorize his warmth and feel against her. To memorize the way he smelled, just the hint of champagne lingering on his breath and the slight musk of his cologne, even the slight smell of sweat, whether lingering from their early wedding night activities or Bruce falling from the sky she was not sure. This moment just suddenly felt all the more important. 

"I really am sorry," he spoke quietly again. 

"Tony…" she started, finally finding her voice but he just shushed her gently.

"No, you still deserve the apology. It was your reception that was interrupted too, and honestly you should be upset. _I’m_ upset,” he emphasised. “You know, I feel like Al Pacino in that one movie that we pretend doesn’t exist because it was so awful.”

“The Godfather Part III?” Pepper asked, scrunching her face up. 

She remembered early on in their relationship when they had been in the newfound love phase and really into sharing everything that they loved with each other, they had been making their way through Tony’s list of must see movies, when The Godfather trilogy cropped up. Personally, she had never seen the appeal but Tony being Italian, claimed the films like a badge of honor. Except for the last. They watched it, but only under what Tony ascertained was duress, because everyone needed to see it just once to understand the crime against cinema that it was. She had fallen asleep through most of it so she supposed he was right. 

Tony actually cringed at her faux pas of saying the title out loud. “Yeah. It’s like every time I start to do right, every time I start to step away from Iron Man and the suits, there is always something that happens that drags me right back into the fold. Like an idiot I thought this time would be different. A proper version of the Accords are in place, the team pardoned and united. I’m mentoring not only the next generation of superheroes but a genuinely good, intelligent kid who for some reason looks at me like I have all the answers. I got my family back. We have Morgan, we’re married now. We haven’t even lived upstate for a year yet and already disaster is looming over us again and this is big and unavoidable...it’s what I’ve been dreading for years,” he trails off from his rant quietly. 

“You’re scared,” Pepper concludes. He doesn’t respond but the sharp intake of breath is enough to confirm what she already knew. “It’s okay to be afraid.”

“I just can’t lose everything now. I don’t know what I would do if-” his voice breaks.

Pepper pulled away from him then, propping herself up on one elbow to look at him. He still kept his eyes averted from her own though she could see how his brown eyes watered. He always tried to be so strong, so brave. Hadn’t he learned by now that he didn’t have to do that in front of her? Gently she turned his face towards her own and looked deeply into his eyes. 

“So, don’t lose,” she simply stated. He opened his mouth to protest but she just shushed him again. “I know it’s not as easy as all that. This isn’t something we have been up against before...but if anyone can do it, you can, and every single person will be here to support you along the way. You won’t lose us.”

“You can’t know that for sure. You know that dream Wanda showed me. What if she was right? What if I don’t do enough?”

“That’s simply impossible. You’re Tony Stark. When the chips are down, you have always come out on top.” 

“You seem so sure.”

“I like to think that I know you a little bit.”

“I like getting to know you better,” he leered, quickly changing the subject, hiding his haunted features beneath the surface for a moment of levity instead. 

She smiled and let him have his jokes and even a teasing grope at her chest, but he was tired. The day had been emotionally draining in all of the best and worst ways and they had already gotten in a couple rounds of their wedding night before Bruce came crashing down from the sky. So, she pressed Tony’s head against her chest and felt him breathe her in in deep breaths full of anxious energy, her hand playing in the long, curling locks between her fingers, until finally his breathing evened out and his weight went limp beside her in sleep.

It was her turn to be vigilant for him through the night, her mind filling with memories of the wedding and how carefree they had been while they danced. She wondered about Morgan and if she had given her grandparents any trouble going to sleep. No one had texted her of any trouble, and her mother had sent her a picture of Morgan in the bath just after they arrived at the Compound. She wondered what her parents must think of this situation. They had known Tony for years of course, knew who he was and what he did, but the superhero life had always been peripheral to Tony the man. She wondered if her Dad could understand now just how little control Tony had over these situations sometimes.

As the sun began to creep steadily out from gray morning clouds she lamented that by this time she and Tony should have been up and on their way to Venice. 

Mostly though, the last thing she thought about before finally being able to drift off herself, were Tony’s words. His fear. She always believed that Tony was capable of doing anything, that whatever he wanted he usually got without much force. 

But this felt different. Scary.

What if he was right?

What if they didn’t do enough?

* * *

Tony pulled the hood up over his head as he darted across the yard through the cold falling rain. Rain. On Christmas Day. It felt fitting enough given the events of recent weeks, but what he would give for a single ounce of normalcy for once. Was it too much to ask for some damned snowflakes? Alas his silent pleas did nothing to change the weather, so instead he mentally drew up plans to create a snow machine when he got some downtime, which in itself was a joke. Who can really have downtime when a powerful, evil alien and his army are on their way to destroy Earth and possibly the universe?

“Gerald, you absolute disaster. Are you really out here sniffing at Pepper’s goji’s? Those have been long harvested my friend, and even so, if she caught you, then she would send you straight to a petting zoo,” he said, as he approached the alpaca as he stood in the rain, sniffing around the greenery. He was lucky that Tony had noticed him wandering loose from his pen while he was making the morning coffee as Pepper was just as likely to hope the animal would wander away forever if she had seen him. “Is that what you want? To be gawked at by thousands of strangers while their kids slap and pull at your fur with their sticky hands for two bucks a pop?” he continued to chide as he wrapped a lead around the animal.

Gerald simply huffed and sniffed around at Tony’s sweatshirt as he worked, determined to find some sort of snack for his trouble. 

“No, sir. You’re a bad alpaca today, no treats for you. There’s plenty of hay back in the pen and you know it, you hungry beast,” he teased and pet the damp wool of the alpaca’s neck as he began leading him away.

Of the three alpacas that he and his father had impulsively bought just before Morgan was born, (because every kid needs an animal to grow up with and dogs are overrated), Gerald was the only one that liked to slip away on his own and do things like eat Pepper’s garden. Harold and Larry on the other hand were content to graze in the land provided to them and never strayed outside the pen unless they were being led around for a walk. 

“You’re a public menace,” Tony muttered when Gerald nuzzled up against him again and he knew that he could smell the package of blackberries he had hidden in the front hoodie pocket. They came to a stop halfway towards Gerald’s pen, just passed his parent’s cottage, when Tony finally folded and pulled out the treat and opened the packaging. “You better not tell your brothers you’re being rewarded for bad behavior.”

Gerald huffed before digging into his reward.

The rain continued to come down and Tony could feel his hoodie starting to get soaked through as his breath came out in short little white puffs while Gerald continued on obliviously with his snack. Tony looked all around, examining the expansive property with all of it’s trees, bare now from the winter chill. It was still way too early, the sun not even properly out yet, not that you could see it from behind the dark rain clouds, and Tony wished that he was still laying warm in bed beside Pepper but he hadn’t been sleeping well ever since Bruce crashed back into their lives.

Bruce hadn’t been able to offer up much more information on Thanos and when he would be coming to Earth, when he finally joined the land of consciousness again, he only was able to relay his own experiences up until that point. How he had been stuck on some alien planet for the last few years fighting in some Gladiator-like tournament until Thor showed up in the same predicament. He explained how they escaped and how Asgard had been doomed by Thor’s sister Hela, that that’s why they had all been on a spaceship together in the first place, heading for Earth when they were attacked.

When something called the Infinity Stones were brought into question, that’s when their new friend, Dr. Strange had been called in and brought up to speed, as he himself was keeper of one of the stones. He had explained then exactly what Thanos was after and all the damage that he could cause with even just one of the stones. It would seem for now that Thanos was hunting the other stones in space before he ultimately came to Earth where he would collect the last two, the Time stone protected by Dr. Strange, and the Mind stone that was currently embedded in Vision’s head. 

When Tony left the Compound to come back home, he was left with the mission of figuring out how to safely remove the mind stone from Vision without causing irreparable harm to who he was as a person (android?) or death. Progress was coming slowly thanks to the collaboration with Howard and Shuri in Wakanda, but not quite as fast as Tony would prefer. Preserving and saving a person’s mind and personality, the essence of who they are, was a delicate task that could not be rushed if it could even be done at all. 

Gerald finished up his snack and drew Tony out of his daze as he began walking away again. Tony steered him into the wide open pen and led the animal into the barn where his brothers stood, looking out over the rain and chewing on hay. 

“Lose someone?” Tony asked as he took the lead off of Gerald. “You guys should really keep a better eye on the delinquent.” 

He unwrapped a new layer of hay for the alpacas to eat and freshened up their water. He’d need to clean up their bathroom corner soon but that was a problem for future Tony to handle so he just let it go for now and gave each of the animals pets and love. 

“I’ll bring you out some carrots later as long as there are no more escape attempts,” he said and slyly slipped Harold and Larry some sugar cubes. 

When Tony exited the barn and the pen he made sure that the latch was secured tightly and then headed back for the house. The rain had let up somewhat but the chill had already begun to soak in. He really couldn’t wait to get a hot shower. Maybe if Morgan was still asleep he could coax Pepper into joining him. 

Then he noticed a slight orange light and a drift of smoke coming from the back porch of his parents cottage. It wasn’t unusual for either of them to be up this early, but that looked suspiciously like someone was smoking and there was only one person who did that, even though he had promised not to. 

“Hey, Howard,” he called, walking over to the porch steps.

Howard was sitting on the porch swing situated just at the opposite end, in a plaid robe his mother had bought for him last Christmas, kicking off gently with one foot, enough to make the swing slowly rock. A cup of coffee was on the table next to the swing, still steaming and reminding Tony of his own abandoned mug he’d left in the kitchen when he chased after Gerald.

“Tony,” Howard acknowledged and took a puff from the cigarette.

“I thought you quit?” Tony asked. 

“You going to rat me out?”

“Haven’t decided yet. What do I get for not telling?”

“I won’t tell Pepper you let Gerald nip through the remains of her garden,” Howard shrugged. 

Tony stuck his nose up as he made it under the safety of the covered porch. “I stopped him from doing any damage thank you. So what, you've just been sitting here this whole time letting the animals roam unchecked?” he crossed his arms and leaned up against the railing.

“I figured you’d get him sooner or later. It’s more fun this way.”

“You still didn’t answer my question. You quit.”

“Cigars,” Howard conceded.

Tony had been secretly thankful when his father had given that particular habit up. He couldn’t smell a cigar without instantly being reminded of Obie or even Ross, to the point it actually made his stomach sick. 

“So, you decided to continue the same vice in different packaging?”

“Not all of the time. Just when I’m stressed or need to think. Your mother is aware, that’s why I am outside.”

Tony hummed thoughtfully and joined his father on the swing, breaking the rhythm for a moment before falling in line with his father’s slight kicks.

“And now? Stressed or need to think?”

“Both.”

“Why because there’s a crazy alien coming to destroy Earth? What’s there to stress over?” Tony asked with his own brand of biting sarcasm, feeling his own worries and unease lurking beneath the surface of his aloofness.

“I think I sometimes forget just how large the universe had become in my absence,” Howard responded, understanding that Tony’s bark was not meant for him. 

“I wish I could forget,” Tony said, the image of a wormhole in New York clouding his brain. 

Howard did not know what he could say to bring any comfort so he simply chose not to speak at all, just clasped a reassuring hand over his son's shoulder as they continued their gentle swinging. 

“I figured we would head over to the house once you all were up. I think your mother is making a breakfast casserole. I have a feeling she just needs to feel useful and cooking has always been one of those ways you know.”

Tony nodded along knowing exactly how his mother felt. She was barely acclimated to the Avengers, let alone a universal alien threat. Besides he and Howard had been holed away for days working on the program to save Vision, days that Tony and Pepper should have been on a boat ride in Venice or touring vineyards in the Italian countryside. Days that they all should have been joyously been preparing for Morgan's first Christmas without the threat of certain death hanging over all of their heads. How were normal people like his mother or Pepper supposed to act in the face of that threat? Pepper was a little more experienced, but even Tony could see the thinness of her smiles and the way she didn't seem fully present during their day to day routines. It wasn't fair. Made him regret wishing that Bruce would turn up at the wedding.

Speaking of the ominous threat hanging over their heads though...

“That reminds me,” Tony said, stopping the swinging and standing up. “I have an early Christmas gift for you, but I don’t really want to make a big deal out of it in front of Mom and Pepper.” He crossed the porch and headed down the steps, the rain had now completely stopped and he was gracious for that much at least. When he turned his head though Howard still remained where he sat, the half finished cigarette in his hand, and a skeptic look in his eye. Tony rolled his eyes. “You coming or not?”

This time Howard slowly sprang into action, putting out the smoke and taking up his coffee instead, then followed as Tony led him as surely as he led Gerald only moments ago, only this time towards the converted garage workshop. 

DUM-E and U both perked up as the pair entered, whirring and beeping their greetings excitedly as they approached. Tony said his good mornings and straightened DUM-E’s Santa cap, then changed a blown light bulb on U’s Christmas light necklace so that they were properly festive. Content, the bots backed off and went about continually decorating their tree in the corner though Tony knew they broke more ornaments than they hung. It had been a routine that they had led for years, dating back to DUM-E's humble beginnings at MIT. They seemed to think Christmas was an all month affair and far be it from Tony to take away that kind of joy from anyone or anything.

He flopped down in the chair behind his workbench and pushed the soaked hood off of his head, running his hand through his damp hair and making it stick up at odd angles. He then opened up several drawers, rummaging around for Howard’s gift as his father stood off to the side trying to nonchalantly sip at his coffee. They had never been big on exchanging gifts, most everything from Tony’s childhood Christmas’ had been picked out by his mother or the Jarvis’, but this was one of those rare occasions where Tony had indulged, and man was he glad that he did. 

“Aha!” Finally he came up with a small black box that had been buried under Iron Man parts and he turned in his chair and regarded his father. “It’s not the Iron Man suit that you’ve been wanting per se, but I think this will help, especially given our current times and situation,” he prefaced, as he turned the box over in his hands once more before shyly offering it up. 

Howard set his mug down on the desk, ‘World’s Okayest Dad’ logo with a mustache underneath facing out towards Tony, making him smile at the gag gift from Father’s Day. He had a similar one in his own cabinet proclaiming him to be the ‘World’s Okayest Son.’ His father accepted the gift and opened it up, though Tony turned away so he wouldn’t see his reaction yet. They were constantly working on their relationship but sometimes those deep learned childhood lessons still had a hold over him like now, as he nervously anticipated his father’s reaction to one of his creations.

“This is nice, son,” Howard began.

 _But?_ Tony’s mind finished.

“But, I’m not sure we quite need life alert bracelets when we have Friday around.”

Tony looked up at Howard and could see the mirth behind his eyes as he looked at the silver cuffed bracelets. Of course he thought it was a gag gift. This did involve a small explanation of its function. “No, Howard, it’s not that.”

“I figured, it’s just so easy to get you riled. I'm learning your work usually has more to it than meets the eye. What have we got here?”

“Try them on,” Tony insisted. He waited until Howard removed them both from the box and clasped them around his wrists locking them in place, then he reached over and took his father’s hand and pressed his thumb print to the center of each one and watched as the bracelets activated, nanobots rushing together and forming around his father’s hands into a gauntlet, very similar to his watch gauntlet. “I figured you could use some protection of your own. It could be used for defensive and offensive measures, not that I ever anticipate having you anywhere near any kind of fighting. Think of it as insurance.”

Howard grumbled a little over Tony sidelining him in the midst of an alien emergency but overall he seemed more excited and even impressed than like he was going to hold a grudge. 

“These work like normal gauntlets?”

Tony nodded. He had broken down one day and let his father indulge in a bit of target practice after an upgrade to the Iron Man suit a few months back. It was what had given him the idea to create the gift in the first place. His father couldn’t handle the typical strain and workout of an Iron Man suit at his age, but he had perfect aim and Tony would be damned if he ever left his family defenseless. He already had ideas of making Pepper her own suit, not that she would ever want to use it, though she’d appreciate the gesture all the same, understanding that it was his way to take care of and protect her. He hoped. Or maybe she would hate it more than the giant bunny at the bottom of the ocean in Malibu, that remained to be seen. 

“You just double tap the middle and it will switch from offensive blasts to stunning measures. It’s encoded only to you, so completely secure from Morgan and Mom and anyone else who would want to get a hold of it. Then just swipe across the cuff to change it back.”

Howard did as Tony said and watched as the nanobites shifted and changed and then swiped across the gleaming silver and the nanobites retreated once more. “Wow, Tony. This is...not my own suit, but this is a damn fine start.”

Tony felt heat spread to the tips of his ears as he ducked his head in light of the praise, still so foreign even a year later. He ran a hand through his wet hair again and then crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well, maybe if you’re lucky I’ll make you some jet boots or something next Christmas.”

“I’d love to fly again,” Howard admitted quietly as he continued fiddling with the gift. 

“You flew the quinjet that one time.”

“Only because you were hurt and you haven’t let me since. I want to experience flying your way sometime.”

“I wasn’t hurt,” Tony grumbled, “anyways, I told you, you couldn’t handle it at this point.”

Howard just shook his head over the old argument and then turned to look Tony in the eye. “Thank you, for the gift.”

“Merry Christmas,” Tony shrugged, feeling unsure again.

He was glad Howard liked the gift, overjoyed even, and he was even happier his past self had developed it. So, then why was it that every time he looked at the silver cuffs on his father’s wrists for the rest of the day, whether it was while Howard was eating his mom’s french toast casserole, holding Morgan on his lap, helping her tear wrapping paper from her presents, or sneaking away for another stress induced smoke, all he could feel was an overwhelming sense of dread and sickness that held his stomach in knots?

His mind echoed all day with the unspoken answer that lurked behind every fake smile, every joke told to lighten the mood, every guilty look as he imagined a shapeless monster bursting through the cabin and killing everyone he loved, just like it had killed Thor.

 _Why didn’t you do more?_

* * *

It was just after 4am when Tony was startled awake, though from his own dream of everyone he loved dying for the third time this week, or from the sad little cries coming from the baby monitor he wasn’t sure. He took a moment to get his breathing back into an acceptable rhythm from the runaway locomotive it had been impersonating, and sat up just as Pepper began to stir beside him. 

“Tony?” she mumbled, softly.

“I’ve got her. Go back to sleep,” he answered, kissing her temple and sweeping back the hair from her face. 

He must have answered a little more breathless than he had thought because instead of burrowing back beneath her blanket in relief she only became more awake, tired blue eyes opening and staring him down. 

“You okay?”

“Always,” came the automatic response as he turned away from her scrutiny.

She didn’t respond but he knew from the way that he felt her eyes glaring lasers into his back that she hadn’t gone back to sleep either.

“Nightmare,” he finally offered up.

“Again?”

Tony nodded and stood up from the bed to dismiss the conversation. “I’m fine. Let me go get Morguna before she wakes the whole house up.” He didn’t give Pepper any time to regroup or call him back, just got up and left the room, making the short walk down the hallway to Morgan’s room. 

Pepper knew that he had been having trouble sleeping all week. Ever since the wedding it was like all the sleep progress he had made over the years had been completely regressed. Some nights he had nightmares every time he closed his eyes. Others he didn’t sleep at all. It was leaving him haggard and snapping at anyone for even the smallest infractions. And he did mean everyone. Pepper, his mother, his father, even Peter. He hated what he was being turned into by the anticipation of waiting for this monster to just show up and start killing people. He was on edge constantly, even if by some miracle of prescription medicine he got a full night’s sleep. 

The anxiety was never gone. 

He slowly opened up the door to Morgan’s room and the light from the hallway spilled inside, rendering the light blue glow of her arc reactor nightlight null as it filled the room and revealed her teary face, standing at the edge of the crib. 

“Hey, Morguna, why the long face?” he said softly, entering the room. 

As soon as he was close enough she reached out her chubby arms to him to pick her up accompanied by a softly whimpered, “Da.”

His heart immediately melted away with the remnants of his nightmare as he picked her up and held her in his arms. Morgan immediately tucked herself away into his neck and quieted as he ran his hand up and down her the warmth of her fuzzy alpaca pajamas, a christmas gift from Pepper, and maybe the slightest indication that she wasn’t as put off by the animals as she acted. 

“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked as he rocked her back and forth. “Or are you just hungry?”

Thankfully after her hellish bout with colic the first couple of months of her life she had mostly begun to sleep through the night. At almost nine months old she would only sometimes wake up in the middle of the night for a bottle or if she needed a diaper. He double checked that she was dry, and then went ahead and easily changed her diaper anyways just in case, before wrapping her back in his arms and heading down the stairs for the kitchen. 

He had to move quieter than usual tonight. Peter Parker had taken up residence on his couch after the New Year’s Eve party. Rhodey was stashed away in the first floor guest room as well, not wanting to make the trip back to the compound since they would all just be meeting up in a few hours anyways.

They had finally figured out a way to safely remove the mind stone from Vision without causing him any irreparable harm and once Tony was sure of this fact, his anxiety would not let him do anything else other than to immediately have the procedure set up. Pepper had convinced him to wait until after the new year, but the first was as far out as he was comfortable with. He would much rather get this stone removed and have Wanda and Strange destroy it as soon as possible. It would be one less thing to weigh on his already overtaxed mind. 

He, his father and Suri would be leading the charge on the operation in Wakanda with Dr. Strange to watch over and assist. The rest of the team would be accompanying them too as an escort of sorts or in case something were to go wrong, like Vision regressing into another Ultron without the stone. Theoretically, that would never happen, Tony was a scientist though and knew to always plan for all scenarios, especially the worst case.

Morgan perked up beside him as he opened up the fridge and took some milk out and poured it into one of the bottles that had been drying out in the strainer. 

“Yeah, you know what that is, don’t ya?” he asked her and kissed her soft brown curls as he next warmed the milk up.

It was amazing how quickly fatherhood had become second nature to him. Nine months ago he would have been running around the kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off and now he didn’t even need two hands to accomplish his tasks. 

As the warmer did its job he set about to the task of starting his own comfort drink, coffee. When the warmer dinged he pulled the bottle out and tested the temperature on his wrist and found it good to go. He walked into the living room and plopped into his favorite chair and offered the bottle to Morgan which she quickly snatched up, though she still needed a little help with holding it, so he kept the gentle weight of his hand around the bottom, her chubby fingers grasping it from the middle. 

He stared into Morgan’s eyes for a bit as she peacefully looked back at him as she drank, reminding him once more of holding her as a newborn and the way that she would just analyze his face and everything she could see in her short radius. He smiled crookedly and booped her gently on the nose, making her eyes crinkle in delight even as her smile was hidden by the bottle. 

Finally he glanced away and over to where Peter lay, nearly stiff as a board beneath the throw blanket on the couch and he rolled his eyes.

“You are a terrible fake sleeper,” he addressed the boy’s back. 

It took another moment or two before the boy finally shifted and flopped back on to his other side, wide awake. He smiled sheepishly before slowly sitting up. 

“Mornin’ Mr. Stark.”

“Morning, faker. How long have you been up?”

“Oh. Um. Not long.”

Tony made a noise like a buzzer in a quiz show when you get the answer wrong. “Nope, try again.”

Peter smiled again and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I guess since um, she first started crying. Sensitive hearing,” he reminded Tony.

“I figured. Sorry about that kid. Where’s the ear plugs I made you?”

“I forgot them at home…”

“Of course you did.” He turned back to look at Morgan who was definitely looking more tired than she had a few moments ago. “Teenagers,” he said exaggeratedly, making a funny face and was rewarded with another smile.

“Mr. Stark, while we’re up...there is something that I wanted to talk to you about…”

“No, you cannot come to Wakanda,” he replied and stood back up to go to the kitchen as the coffee pot beeped. Peter hopped up from the couch and was right at his heels, nearly bumping into him as he stopped to grab one of his mugs. 

“Come on, Mr. Stark. You yourself said it wasn’t even going to be dangerous last night. I don’t understand why you won’t let me go.”

“Um. I didn’t say that it wouldn’t be dangerous, kid, I said that it wouldn’t be as dangerous. There’s a difference. This is untested science with a magical space rock. I really don’t need it destabilizing and blasting you to another dimension or whatever magical crap it could do. This isn’t Quantum Leap or Dr. Who, whatever you watch these days,” he said and poured himself a cup one handed. “Coffee?”

Peter shook his head. “I know it’s not a game or anything, Mr. Stark, I’m a scientist too, remember? I just want a chance to watch and learn from the best.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere kid.”

“I didn’t say it was you. There’s Mr. Howard and Princess Shuri, and I’ve heard that Wakanda is like super advanced, like better than Stark Industries advanced…”

“Okay, gonna cut you off right there. Not helping your case,” Tony said wagging a finger at Peter. Sure he had to admit that Wakanda indeed had some pretty awesome tech but it wasn’t like Tony was over here peddling Hammer tech. Stark Industries still had the most efficient green energy technology...Wakanda was just a little further developed in other areas. “Besides even if I said you could go, you still couldn’t go. Does May approve of this?” 

Peter’s eyes went wide and Tony knew that he had him. May was fairly lenient on the Spiderman activities during designated patrol times but she was understandably a little less enthused about field trips to other countries, which may have completely been Tony’s fault but who's to say?

“Well, see...about that…” Peter chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, desperately averting eye contact. 

Tony’s heart dropped and he closed his eyes and groaned. “You didn’t…”

“I might have told her that you said yes already, and with all the other Avengers going...well she still didn’t like it, but she said that she trusts you anyways, and please just remember there’s a baby in your arms before you yell at me.”

Tony kept his eyes closed and counted backwards from ten, then he realized that Peter had probably just been waiting for this moment for him to be in a vulnerable position with Morgan and then got mad and had to start all over again. 

“So, you lied to your Aunt…”

“Only a little.”

“...who apparently trusts me now…”

“She really always has or she would have never let you in the apartment.”

“...and said that you could go on this potentially dangerous mission…”

“That you have totally taken every precaution to plan!"

"...to another country…"

"With my fellow Avengers," Peter concluded and puffed out his chest.

"Uh uh. Not an Avenger. Unbelievable, Parker. I didn't realize just how diabolical you actually are until now."

"So, is that a yes?"

Tony was flabbergasted. On one hand he couldn't believe Peter would do this but on the other…well it reminded him of someone else. It was just like...damn it...just like something his younger self would have done, albeit with a little more grace and silky smooth charm and less adorable lost puppy energy. He couldn’t fault the kid for wanting to come and he did know that it was at least partially for the science involved. A part of Tony would actually feel a little better knowing the kid was at his side too where nothing could happen to him.

“I know that face!” Peter said, his eyes lighting up. “I won didn’t I?” Peter laughed and then lowered his volume when he realized Morgan had completely fallen asleep, nonplussed by their little debate.

“Just don’t make me regret this please. Do you have your new suit with you?”

“Duh. I promise, I will be a silent tourist.”

“Of course, you forgot your ear plugs to sleep but you remembered the suit," he muttered to himself. "Well I have a pretty small amount of faith in the silent part but if you’re coming along I want to make sure that you’re prepared. This isn’t amateur hour kid. We don’t know jack about these stones and their capabilities except what a literal wizard has told us, so if I need you to get out of there I need to make sure you’ll actually listen.”

" I know, Mr. Stark. Thank you!” he said and reached forward to wrap Tony in a hug. They hadn’t ever really hugged much before so it always caught Tony off guard and too stunned to do much than give a brief pat to his back. “You know,” Peter said, pulling away, “this is kinda your fault."

Just hearing the phrase sent Tony’s stomach careening. "I'm sorry, my fault?"

“I think the only reason Aunt May is saying yes is because she wants to spend some more time with Happy, and don’t think I don’t know that is almost entirely your doing!” Peter laughed and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table and began peeling it. 

Tony sighed lightly trying to reduce his nerves but his body was still thrumming from the accusation. “Yeah, well. It was bound to happen eventually. I’m going to go lay Morgan down.”

“You okay, Mr. Stark? You look kinda pale.”

“Fine. Hey, I’m not going to be getting anymore sleep tonight, why don’t you grab your suit and you can help me do some upgrades when I come back?”

Peter still looked concerned but didn’t seem to want to press his luck. “Sure.”

When Tony finally laid Morgan back in the bed he stood over her watching her sleeping form for a long time, memorizing her chubby cheeks and curly hair. Then he realized that his left hand was shaking again, the tiny tremors running up and down his arm, and he knew it wasn’t from the injury, or holding Morgan too long. The nightmare from earlier was coming back into his mind, the large purple monster towering over him, over the dead bodies of his friends and saying only one thundering word from his monstrous mouth. 

_Stark._

It had been a long time since he had experienced a full bodied panic attack but here he was, hyperventilating on the floor next to his infant daughter's bed. He would work his way through it. He would stand back up and go to his room and change his sweat drenched shirt and wash his face. He would go back out to the living room and to Peter and act like nothing had happened at all. 

Later on when Dr. Strange arrived with his portal hopping magic he would smile and laugh and joke with the others. Hug his mother tightly and kiss Pepper and Morgan goodbye for now and act like everything was fine.

On the inside though, he had a bad feeling. Not one that he could explain. Not one that he could use to convince Peter to back out after he already agreed he could come along. 

Just that same feeling he had been carrying around with him since the Battle of New York that the aliens would be back.

Something was going to happen today.

And he might not make it back from Wakanda. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this started to get away from me and I had to cut it into an additional chapter. More to come very soon! Hit that subscribe button to be notified of more or follow the tumblr page [12-16-91-stark](https://12-16-91-stark.tumblr.com/)
> 
> As always let me know what you think in the comments down below!!!


	2. Doom Upon All The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long to get this part up. Thank you for the patience and the wonderful response so far!! Please don't kill me after this chapter. lol Also there is a battle in this chapter so TW for some blood and minor gore - canon typical violence.
> 
> I love you all, stay safe and leave me a comment down below letting me know what you think!

Howard was worried about Tony. His mood had been progressively moving from theatrics that Tony normally saved for the press to a more dour countenance. His jokes were strained and offbeat, the smile forced. He wore sunglasses that were so dark they reflected your image back despite the gloomy January morning. He wasn’t sure if anyone else seemed to notice aside from some concerning glances that Pepper had given them before they left, the rest of the team seemingly oblivious or perhaps just used to Tony’s varying moods. Only Dr. Bruce Banner seemed to be in a similar mindset as his son, then again this had been his perpetual mood since his grand reentrance to Earth’s atmosphere. 

Tony continued to spiral as Howard and Princess Shuri began to prep the programming needed for Vision’s mind stone removal. The entire team was all gathered together in the palace workshop, all in wonder of the Wakandan technology, even those that had already to an extent seen it before. The team for the most part all began laughing and chatting amongst themselves, only missing Dr. Strange (who had thoroughly let them all know where they stood, pronouncing that if anything went wrong and it came down to their lives or saving the time stone there would be no contest, truly winning hearts and minds) and Banner who were quietly meditating off to the side and Wanda and Vision who had secluded themselves to another corner of the room lost in their own private moment. The sounds and echoes of the happy group however carried and reverberated across the room, each voice seemingly only succeeding in making Tony even more agitated as he growled, huffed, and muttered under his breath until finally Steve Rogers laughter echoed out a time too many.

“Do you guys fucking mind? This isn’t a party. You’re here as insurance in case something goes haywire. In case you’ve forgotten Vision’s life is at stake and all I can concentrate on is how loud your big mouths are,” Tony finally snapped, his voice cutting straight through the levity in the room and leaving the group mostly properly chastised, even as Vision tried to step in to allay the hostility, peacemaker that he always was when Howard saw him. 

Rhodes looked among the other Avengers before he solemnly approached Tony. Careful, quieter speaking resumed amongst the team as their unanimously voted peacemaker went to work his magic. Rhodes leg braces were the newest model that Tony had designed for him and Howard had even helped to make more comfortable to wear for extended periods of time, and worked in perfect synchronicity with his own armor. They whirred quietly as he finally came to a stop beside Tony. 

Rhodes placed a cautious hand on Tony’s shoulder. “You good man?” he asked, quietly.

He watched as Tony sighed and ran a hand over his face tiredly before he turned towards Rhodes with a resigned expression pinching his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. I’m sorry.”

Howard and Shuri continued to work on the programming setup, pretending like they weren’t just as concerned or quietly listening in. Howard knew that what they were doing here today was extremely important, even if he didn’t necessarily understand it all, and he could certainly get the pressure that Tony found himself under, but his son was acting as if they had already failed.

“Let’s take a walk,” Rhodes said, slinging his arm over Tony’s shoulder and drawing him in. 

“Rhodey,” Tony started protesting but the other man was not having any of it. 

“You guys got this for a minute? Gonna go for a stroll, get some water,” Rhodey addressed Howard directly.

He traded a brief look with Shuri and who nodded. “Yeah, we’re good here. Should be ready to start by the time you get back.”

Permission granted, Rhodes nodded happily and began leading Tony away from the room, a couple of the Dora Milaje following distantly behind them. Howard watched as Tony practically slumped against his friend as they conversed in low tones.

“Is he going to be stable enough to handle this?” Shuri asked him. 

Howard watched the two figures until they had completely faded from view and then gave the Wakandan Princess his full attention. “He’ll be fine. You can’t find steadier hands to work with, he just has a lot on his mind.” 

Shuri accepted his answer perhaps remembering when Tony had cracked the file code on Ross and all that came with it. “And they say women can’t handle our emotions,” she said in jest and offered a kind grin.

They were able to get everything completed in record time after that but Tony and Rhodes still had not returned yet. While Shuri ran an additional diagnostic screen, Howard wandered over towards the group of heroes and pulled Peter aside, while he was talking animatedly to an amused King T’Challa over who had the better suit.

“Hey kid, you were with Tony this morning, what’s got him so cranky, do you know?”

“I don’t really know,” Peter answered a little too quickly. 

“C’mon Parker you just gave yourself away.”

Peter folded his arms across his chest and chewed at his bottom lip. “I don’t know if I should really say, sir. I don’t want Tony getting mad at me.”

“He won’t be mad at you son, if anything it would be me he’d yell at for meddling. What’s the story?”

Peter looked over his shoulder at the door that Tony and Rhodes had disappeared out of and then leaned in a little closer. “Well, he was up really early this morning with Morgan and never went back to bed. I tried not to really think anything about it at the time but…”

Howard nodded for him to continue and the boy sighed.

“I think he might have had a panic attack when he put Mo back to bed...I have really, insanely good hearing because of the whole spider thing and I wasn’t meaning to tune into him but the house was quiet and I was waiting to go work on the suit...I don’t know I could hear his heartbeat and it was just really erratic and crazy. I went to go check on him but he was already leaving Mo’s room. He didn’t see me but I saw him and he just looked really pale and sweaty. Kinda had all morning now that I think of it,” Peter said, frowning. 

“Panic attack? Over what?”

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me if I asked and when he came back downstairs he was all changed and acting like normal. I didn’t want to press my luck.”

“Thanks for telling me, Pete,” he said, quietly, mind deep in thought as his concerns were amplified. It could be nothing. This could just be all of the stress and late nights of the last month or so finally catching up with Tony and manifesting in a less than stellar way admittedly, but a gnawing voice at the back of his head feared that there was more to it than that. 

“Hey, Mr. Howard…” Peter began again, shuffling his feet and squeezing his arms tighter across his chest, “do you think that this is my fault?”

Howard frowned. “Your fault?”

A flash of guilt crumpled over Peter’s face as he looked down at the floor. “Yeah, I uh..kinda blackmailed him into letting me come along today. I said that it was cool with May because I had told her it was cool with Mr. Stark and he was pretty mad about it all. Maybe he is really just upset with me and trying not to take it out on me directly?”

Howard huffed out a quiet laugh and readjusted the thick black frames of the glasses he was wearing. “I can’t say that Tony particularly enjoys being shown up like that and h was honestly getting a taste of his own medicine with that move, but no Peter, I don’t think this is about you at all. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

He offered Peter a reassuring pat on the back as the boy released the deep breath that he had been holding and the tension in his body along with it. “Well, do you think I should apologize?”

“Hell no,” Howard laughed immediately. “Not today at least kid. Let’s score a victory with this mind stone extraction first. That will cool a lot of heads and release some of this tension, then by that point Tony will be in such a good mood that your little stunt won’t even be blip on his radar when you apologize.”

Peter smiled, seemingly reassured by his words and Howard smiled back. Peter was a good kid, and though his methods in joining the party were a bit unconventional, Howard couldn’t say that he hadn’t resorted to the same or worse when he really wanted something, and for that matter Tony as well. It would be a bit hypocritical of his son _not_ to forgive this boy for doing exactly what he would have done in the same place.

The sound of the workshop doors opening and a familiar low rumble of laughter filtered into the room as Tony and Rhodes reentered. What struck Howard most was that while Tony still carried tension in his back and shoulders, unavoidable at this point, he was at the very least smiling a genuine smile now, his arm slung reciprocally across his best friend’s shoulders as they exchanged some private joke. He didn’t know what Rhodes had done to be able to draw out the genuine Tony but Howard would take it over the angry, somber, bastard he’d been most of the morning. Perhaps there was a little more than water involved. 

Realizing that they had drawn the attention of the entire room, the two men’s conversation quieted and Tony dropped his arms from around the Colonel. 

“What’s everyone standing around for? Let's get to work.”

* * *

Tony was feeling a little bit better after his long walk with Rhodey. 

He had been on edge and acting like an ass all morning long and it wasn’t the others fault. He needed more sleep, less coffee and more time at home with his wife and daughter. 

Rhodey had him facetime everyone back at the cabin after they had a long talk about what he was going through. Rhodey already knew of his reoccurring dreams and his fears from New York so it was easy to talk about it all happening again, to the point where he walked around all day with a heavy ball of lead in his chest filled with nothing but dread and panic. Becoming a parent was enough to overstimulate all of his fears, but now having yet another person he could potentially stand to lose if everything didn’t go right today was enough to send him into overdrive. If anything happened to Morgan…

He had to shake the thoughts away again and bring up the image of Morgan smiling and waving at him on the video chat, just so happy to see his face even if he had only been gone for a couple of hours, she treated his absence as if he had been gone a lifetime.

Pepper had wanted to ask him questions, he could tell, though she still kept the conversation light, if only because she recognized that he was potentially only hanging on by a thread. 

He really had to make this up to her. They’d honeymoon in Venice like they were supposed to and then maybe go across Europe and hit up all of her favorite destinations, Paris, Berlin, London, Edinburgh, Dublin. He’d take her shopping and to restaurants or shows. He would do all the silly tourist trap events that she always tried to drag him to do that he never had time for before. He’d even call in a favor or two and see about getting her a pirate meeting with the Royal Family for putting up with his shit. Not that she had ever been starved but he would offer his own body up to her any time she wanted, even if it was just for her own pleasure and not his own. He had to do something to make up for the rocky start to their marital situation. 

He had told as much to his best friend and he had only shook his head. “She doesn’t need all that. All she wants is you.”

And Tony knew that was true. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t try anyways. 

After speaking with Pepper though he felt something inside of him calm, her voice and the presence of her picture a soothing balm on his soul. 

That was when Rhodey broke out an old friend, a small metal flask that Tony had bought for him and had engraved just after they graduated MIT and Rhodey went away for the Air Force. It was inscribed with the MIT motto, ‘Mens et Manus’ or Mind and Hand, which was MIT speak for only through the combination of thought and practical action would they be able to solve current and future problems. Of course Tony added his own flair...

_To James Rhodes - Mens et Manus - For everything else, drink. - TS - MIT Class of ‘88_

And that was how they ended up sharing several generous sips of Bacardi at 10am on one of the most important days of their lives. It was nowhere near enough to get either tipsy or drunk or impaired in any way, but it was enough to settle the remaining nerves. To get Tony to smile and laugh again, ready to face what was coming their way. And everyone always thought that Tony was the bad influence, if only they knew how infinitely more devious his best friend really was. 

“Hey, Tony can I speak to you for one second?” Bruce asked, coming up beside him and tapping his shoulder, before he could make it to the others. 

“Brucie, I always have a second for you,” he said and nodded for Rhodey to go on as Vision and Wanda made their way over to the table they would be for lack of a better word operating on him at. Tony stepped a little off to the side for privacy and gave the man his full attention.

They really hadn’t had a lot of time to talk since the man’s miraculous return, all communication beginning and ending with their new threat. Tony was just now starting to see just how much older his friend looked, how much more haunted, like he had back when he was on the helicarrier when they first met and everyone was quick to give him a wide berth. His clothes hung loosely off of his frame and there was more gray in his hair. He hadn’t been sleeping well wither if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by. Tony knew the feeling. 

“What’s up Bruce?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry,” he replied, face contorting almost like it were in pain. 

“Sorry? For what?”

“Everything. Taking off after Ultron. Getting stuck in space for two years. Losing Thor. Crashing your wedding. Whatever happens here today and in the coming days I just wanted you to know that.”

Tony was already shaking his head though. “No, no, no. Bruce. Look, there’s a lot that you missed and there’s a lot that yeah I was pissed off about in the past. I was angry for a long time about Ultron, but I’ve moved on. Did it suck holding the bag? Yes. Do I think it was intentional? No. Not after everything that you told me happened while you were away. As for Thor...that wasn’t your fault dude. You know that right?”

Bruce bit the inside of his cheek and turned away from Tony. “I couldn’t stop him.”

“But you tried.”

“I could have done more.”

Tony felt the breath steal away from his chest for a moment as his friend uttered the very same motto that had been playing in his mind for years. He was so used to hearing it in his own head that it sounded so strange and foreign coming from anyone else.

“You did everything that you could and we all know that. Thor knew that. He would have wanted you to make it back here to us to warn us, you and I both know that. That’s not a cross that you need to bear. As for the wedding…” he trailed off.

Bruce really could have had better timing on that one but again Tony knew that it wasn’t like it was done on purpose. He had no control over what had happened and where he had been sent. The man had just been involved in a major battle. 

“Next time bring a better wedding gift,” Tony shrugged and tried to offer the man one of his trademarked teasing grins. 

It worked for a moment and Bruce grinned back. 

“You got it. Are we good?”

“Always were. Science bros?” Tony asked, holding out his hand.

This time Bruce’s grin turned a little more genuine, a little less haunted. “Science bros,” he said, clasped Tony’s hand in his and let himself be brought in for a brief hug. 

“Perfect, now let’s ruin Thanos’ plan.”

* * *

“Is he going to be asleep for the entire procedure?” Wanda asked in low tones, hugging her arms across her chest as Vision lay down on the table. 

Tony looked across at her and could see the fear that was in her eyes. The fear of a loved one being in pain. The fear of a loved one dying. He really didn’t understand the android and the witch’s relationship but far be it from him to judge anyone. 

“I’m not sure if he is really capable of sleep, more like a temporary shutdown of his main frame?” There were a lot more technical terms for what they were all about to try and accomplish but Tony found that being as simple as possible was better for everyone else. 

“It’s as much of an equivalent to sleeping as I am able to produce,” Vision reassured.

“He will be okay,” Shuri smiled at her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “He will feel no pain.”

Wanda nodded, and leaned down to hug the android one last time. “I love you Viz.”

“And I you,” he responded, in that voice so much like Jarvis’ that it always made Tony’s heart jump. 

Wanda backed away to give them their space, Howard coming around to take her place at the table. 

Shuri sighed as she brought up the mind stone’s circuitry and looked directly at Tony. “I really wish you would have reprogramed the synapse to work collectively. This would be a lot easier that way.”

Tony narrowed his eyes and huffed. “Huh.” He turned around to find Bruce in the background. “Why didn’t we do that??”

All eyes turned to Bruce who just looked entirely uncomfortable to be the center of attention as he began to think. “Um. We just didn’t think of it?” he finally came up with a shrug.

Shuri rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m sure you did the best you could,” she conceded with a smile.

If only Shuri had known all the hell that they had gone through just to get Vision created, period. They were lucky that he had even made it. 

“You can do it though? This will work?” Wanda chimed in again. 

“Yes, we can. There are over two trillion neurons to be detached though, and that’s where it gets tricky. Just one misplacement could cause catastrophic damage,” Tony answered her very seriously, laying out the severity of the situation. 

“But that is also why there are three of us working together simultaneously,” Shuri reassured. “Each of us has our own quadrant and so the process will move much quicker.” She looked then between Tony and Howard. “And you couldn’t have steadier hands to help.”

Tony appreciated the vote of confidence and he could tell his father did as well. Wanda was placated once more and turned back to stare out the bright floor to ceiling windows overlooking a Wakandan field. That was as much permission to begin as they would get so they quickly turned their attention to Vision. 

“You ready?” Tony asked.

Vision nodded his head and after several long moments of concentration, his eyes fell closed. With that Tony, Howard and Shuri all got to work.

* * *

The longer that the process of removing the infinity stone took, the more that Tony wished that he and Bruce would have reprogrammed the synapse to work collectively like Shuri had suggested. They had been at it for over two hours and though they had made amazing progress in that time, there was still a long way to go. 

Tony’s shoulder was aching from where he had his arms lifted up this entire time to interact with the display and he could feel the muscle starting to release tiny tremors up and down his arm. He was going to have to take a break here soon before he wound up making a costly mistake. 

For what it was worth the rest of the team had been keeping fairly quiet as they operated, speaking in low, hushed tones as they watched from afar. Tony was grateful for that much. Though he often could design and create with his favorite music shaking the entire building, this was one of the rare occasions where he needed to hear himself think as his hands weaved in and out over the holographic display, the corresponding tool mimicking his motions as it separated the neurons from the stone. 

“I just about have this side complete,” Howard said, adjusting his glasses on his face. 

Tony glanced over at Howard’s progress and confirmed that indeed, his portion was almost complete. “Not bad for an old man,” he said, and wiped away a bead of sweat that had formed on the side of his face.

“Once I get this complete, I think that we should take a bit of a break, what do you say Tony?” Howard said, looking at Tony over his glasses. 

Tony wanted a break. In fact he would love one. To have it foisted on him by his father though? The man kept shooting him concerned glances and it suddenly made Tony feel small again, his father calling him out in front of everyone, letting his weakness be on full display. It raised his hackles a little bit.

“We can keep going. I’m fine.”

Shuri looked up between the pair but didn’t voice her opinion, just continued her work in silence. 

Howard shrugged, unwilling to make a further scene. “Okay, and that will just about do it…” he trailed off, moving his hands around a couple more times on his own hologram until the last neuron was finally disconnected from the bottom of the stone. 

The stone on Vision’s head loosened, the bottom half jutting out as it was disconnected by the tool. 

“Piece of cake,” Howard grinned. 

Tony was about to retort how he and Shuri were working on double the amount of neurons that he had been when all of a sudden an alarm started going off on the holo panels.

“What’s happening?” Shuri asked, stopping her work and pulling up the alarm.

“The stone is drawing energy…” Tony started.

Before they could say anything else the stone began to glow brightly before emitting a terrible burst of energy throughout the room. The force was enough to blow everyone standing at the table backwards and to shatter the windows. The Avengers started to take cover but the pulse was too fast sending them flying out of control as well. Pieces of the ceiling cracked and crumbled over them as the energy continued outwards before finally beginning to dissipate.

“What the hell was that?!” Clint asked, picking himself up off of the ground and reaching to help Natasha up, checking for any wounds. 

Wanda was up first and rushed to where Vision lay still deep in his self imposed sleep. “What did you do?” 

Tony was slow to get up from where the energy had thrown him backwards into the wall. The good news was that his shoulder was no longer hurting, or at least not the only thing hurting. No that honor went to his head as he gingerly ran a hand across the cut on his temple and swiped away a stripe of blood. “We didn’t do anything,” he groaned and pulled himself up, steadying himself with one hand on the wall. 

“You must have! What was that energy? Did you hurt him?” Wanda called out.

“I don’t think that was us. It seems to have been a reaction from the stone,” Howard responded, slowly climbing to his own feet, though thankfully he seemed fine, just like the wind had been knocked out of him.

“He’s right,” Dr. Strange chimed in before they could be leveled with anymore accusations. “It would seem that when they finished disconnecting a piece of the mind stone, it set off some sort of defensive reaction.”

“Great,” Tony groaned, “the mind stone has its own alarm system.”

“In a manner of speaking,” Strange responded, cocking his head to the side. “The spike in electromagnetic energy is staggering. This isn’t just a ripple that could be felt here on earth…”

“What are you saying Doc? It sent a distress signal to space?” Rhodey asked, as he lead Tony over to sit down. 

“To the other stones, more like,” he said, opening up the necklace that he wore around his person, a green stone floating out before him. Only the stone was lit up a bright burning green before fading out and then bright again. It did that a few more times before returning to its normal color and Strange promptly hid it away. 

“I think we’ve just been put on the clock. Better work faster.”

Well. Shit. 

* * *

“Howard, as much as it pains me to say, I’m going to need you to take over for me. Do you think that you can do that?” Tony asked, looking over his father seriously, as Rhodey placed a butterfly bandage over his temple.

“Are you okay?” Howard asked, sitting down beside him. 

“He’ll be fine eventually,” Rhodey reassured as he picked up the first aide and moved on.

Tony rolled his eyes at the comment but it only served to make him dizzy and he had to reach out his hand to his father’s arm to steady himself. “I’ll be fine, minor concussion, little double vision, like literally, I’m seeing double of Vision right now. I’ll be fine but I can’t work like this. Besides, it kinda seems like I might be needed for my other job anyways.”

As the group had reformed after the burst of energy, Dr. Strange had only proceeded to get Stranger, breaking away from the main group to do some sort of wild meditation off to the side to try and confirm what had happened with the stone. He looked like something out of a horror movie but Tony wasn’t going to start questioning his methods now. 

“You really think you’re okay to fight?”

Tony shrugged. “I’ve fought through worse. Finish this. Help Shuri. There is nothing more important right now than extracting that stone so Wanda can destroy it, you got me?”

“I helped you come up with this plan, do you think I don’t understand the importance?” he asked with a tad of annoyance.

“Good man,” Tony grinned and thumped him on the chest with his palm a couple of times. “Get to it then.”

Howard moved to return to the table but hesitated. “Tony…”

“Yeah?”

“If it comes to that...be careful.”

“Always.”

Howard acknowledged him once more before returning to help with Shuri. The holographic displays had just been reset and the tools recalibrated from where they had been knocked askew with the pulse. They were over a third of the way complete with the extraction but they were really going to have to buckle down to get it complete if they really were on some sort of time crunch.

Tony cautiously rose from his seat and slowly bypassed the team as the dizziness receded and his vision began to clear. Right now he only had his sights set on Strange. 

“Hey. Hey Doc, you figure anything out yet?” he called out but the man continued his meditation. “Strange,” he tried again, this time reaching out and grabbing the man’s arm. 

Strange gasped and dropped back to the ground from where he had been levitating, his eyes popping open filled with horror. That couldn’t be good.

“Whoa, steady. What’s going on? What did you see?”

“Thanos...he and his army are definitely coming.”

That caught the attention of the rest of the room, even Howard and Shuri looking up from their work, and the other Avengers moving in closer to hear the wizard.

“Here? Now?!” Tony asked, gripping the man a little tighter. 

Strange nodded grimly. “That’s not all. When I realized what was happening I also looked into the future, to see what the outcome would be.”

“How many futures did you see?” Steve asked, filling the silence in the room with his booming Captain America voice. 

“Fourteen million six hundred and five,” Strange listed the staggering number. 

“How many did we win?” Tony asked, quietly.

Strange averted his eyes from Tony’s and looked to some far off space on the floor. “Just one.”

The room was filled with shocked silence once more, tension filling the air. It was Tony’s worst nightmare come true. He let loose a shaky breath and looked around the room at all of his friends and colleagues. His father and the boy who was practically his own. He wouldn’t let it end here. Not now. 

“Well," Tony began and unzipped his hoodie, "I guess we’ll have to make it count then.” He shrugged the jacket off to reveal the blue light of the housing unit for his new nanobite suit.

"Together," Steve added with quiet strength and Tony agreed with him for once.

"Together," he repeated and double tapped the arc unit sending nanos crawling all across him and forming the Iron Man suit.

* * *

To say that all hell broke loose not too long after the Avengers got suited up would be an understatement.

Steve and Tony had been in the middle of relaying what their plan would be when alarms started blaring all across the workshop and the Dora Milaje filled the room. The first of Thanos’ Army had breached the atmosphere and they were on a crash course with Wakanda having surely tracked the stone’s energy to the palace.

Howard and Shuri continued their work even as the others scrambled about. T’Challa left several of the best Dora Milaje stationed with them, but as ships continued to enter the atmosphere, it was clear that they were all going to need as much help as they could get. 

Once everyone was equipped with communication devices and any weapons they were lacking, they all filtered out onto what would become the battleground. Tony made sure that Howard’s communicator was working properly and then offered him one more look before the Iron Man helmet materialized over his head and he and Rhodey flew out from the broken palace windows, Peter trailing behind them, his webbing wrapped around Tony’s boot as there wasn’t much in the way of trees or buildings for him to swing on. 

Wanda also lingered nearby at the beginning, her concern more for Vision. 

Howard couldn’t see everything that was happening but he was able to hear it all through the comms. Nat, T’Challa and Steve made first contact with the aliens, not that they actually thought that they could be bargained with, but to their minor relief it didn’t look like Thanos had shown up yet.

He was sure it must have been a sight to behold, all the tribes of Wakanda united together with the Avengers for battle against aliens. Once T’Challa called for a section of their high tech force field to be opened to prevent flanking, the battle finally began in earnest. 

Howard knew by the slight hitch in Tony’s breath that the Chitauri army were a part of the battle as he and Rhodey tried to share banter as they took to the skies, sweeping across the perimeter and blasting away large groups and clusters of what sounded like rabid dogs, while the others fought on the ground. He could make out the sounds of Bruce Banner’s alter ego, the curious green rage monster roaring in the background. Howard had only just barely gotten a peak of the transformation, unable to look away from his work for too long. He hoped if everything turned out okay that he would be able to analyze Friday’s footage later and get a clear look at everyone and everything. 

Wanda seemed to only grow tenser watching the fighting below them, her nails digging into her arms. When giant mechanical wheels were unleashed on the field with seemingly no way to slow them down she turned to Shuri and Howard both.

“Protect him. Finish the job!”

And she disappeared from where she stood at the shattered window.

“How did she do that?” Shuri asked him but he could only shrug.

“She’s a witch.”

“We’re getting overrun down here!” Steve’s voice called out over the comms. 

“We aren’t doing much better up here. I’m fighting psychic Squidward,” Tony’s voice came in breathlessly. “I don’t think he likes my jokes.”

“Does anyone?” Hawkeye teased. 

“Easy birdbrain or I’ll let you fight him.”

“I’ve got you, Cap,” Rhodey’s voice came in and the sound of a barrage of bombs could be heard in the distance.

“Thanks a lot!”

“Everybody gets one,” Rhodey finished with a smile in his voice. 

“How much longer up there?” T’Challa called out into the mic.

“Nearly there, brother. We need some more time.”

He panted and groaned. “You better pick up the pace.”

The fight continued on but whereas the Avengers and the Wakandans were visibly beginning to tire, it seemed like Thanos’ army never ran out of bodies to sacrifice. Wave after wave kept assaulting the barrier. 

Howard and Shuri moved as quickly as they could but there was only so much that they could do in regards to the intricate wiring of the stone. 

“Okay, so let’s go over the plan. We get this stone out. I give you the glove to carry the stone. You run like hell to Wanda and she destroys the stone. Easy peasy,” Howard spoke to the teenage princess. She nodded along with him. 

“We might need an assist. Maybe we can keep Spiderman nearby or get Wanda closer. I can run and shoot but I’d much rather not run out to be slaughtered.”

“We can do that. Parker, you on standby for an assist? It won’t be long now.”

“Already on it. I’m picking off the stragglers near the palace,” the boy responded. 

“Good boy.”

“WHOA what’s that?!” Peter yelled out, drowning out Howard’s voice. “Something is coming. I can feel it. All my senses are going crazy.”

“Is it Thanos?” Nat asked, grunting as she seemingly fought off one of the monsters. 

“I can’t tell.”

Howard felt it too. All the hairs on his arms and neck suddenly stood to attention and there was an almost electric intensity vibrating in the air. Then the sky suddenly lit up with bright blue lightning, the deafening sounds of thunder echoing across the land. 

“I’ll be a son of a bitch…” Tony muttered.

“THOR!!” Howard heard the Hulk cry out in his beastly voice

Arriving with the god was a spaceship full of mismatched warriors including a blue woman, a raccoon and a tree. Howard couldn’t believe it as the others called out the action. Thor himself seemed to be angrier and mightier, a swing of his apparently new weapon decimating the grunts that threatened to swarm the others. 

For the first time, Howard thought that they just might actually pull this off. 

Of course, that’s when  _ he _ showed up.

Unlike Thor’s grand entrance, the monstrous Titan gave no indication of his grand entrance, stepping out onto the field seemingly from another world entirely. To the dismay of everyone, it would seem that Strange’s time stone and the stone that Howard and Shuri were working against the clock to remove were the only two that were missing from his gauntlet. 

“Ah. How nice of you all to gather in one place. Should make this easy,” Howard heard the monster echo. He had to move faster.

The Avengers all tried their hand at fighting the titan back but the only one that really seemed to be able to do much was Dr. Strange and his counter attacks. The Hulk was thrown around like a rag doll, the non enhanced humans no match. Even Steve and Bucky wavered under his immense power. Thor was unable to get to him at all, the full assault of Thanos’ children being turned against him and putting up a stronger fight than the grunts. 

They were so close. Just a little bit longer damn it. 

“Howard, you guys are out of time, get out of there!” Tony’s voice cut through the comms.   
  
Howard looked to his side at the genius Princess of Wakanda as she, like him, continued the intricate detangling of Vision’s mind from the stone. She looked him firmly in the eyes and shook her head signaling that she wasn’t ready to give up yet. He admired her courage and made up his mind on the spot to support her. They were so close. 

“Sorry, no can do, we’re seeing this through, son.”

He heard the shaky breath of his son over the communicator, the desperation permeating his words. “ _ Dad _ .”

Howard’s breath caught in his chest, the rarely used moniker knocking the air from his chest, even as his fingers continued to weave back and forth on the circuitry.

“ _ Please _ . You have to go. Thanos is coming, do you hear me?”

Howard was proud with how steady his voice came out. “Well, then we’d better go faster.”

Tony let loose a long frustrated groan. “I’m on the way.”

It didn’t take long for Tony to appear, though just as he had, the fight between Thanos and Dr. Strange had just spilled into the building. Howard was shocked to see the appearance of the giant, purple monster. He was even more terrifying than Bruce had described to them all.

“How much longer do you need?” Tony shouted, the helmet fading back into the suit to reveal his panic stricken face. 

Dr. Strange was doing his best to stall the Titan but it was clear that his powers alone would not be enough to keep him back. 

“Five minutes,” Shuri answered for Howard and Tony growled. 

“I’ll do what I can.” The helmet snapped back over his face just as Strange was knocked away by a burst of purple energy. “Anyone available, we could really use an assist over here,” Tony gritted through the comms as his nanobites created a shield to block an incoming attack.

Howard watched the energy push Tony back with immense power but his son held fast and barrel rolled out of the way, flying forward and landing a couple of punches on the titan. Thanos swatted his son like he was a fly but Tony recovered with a flip and immediately charged back at him. 

The stone was so close to being out. There were only maybe a thousand neurons to remove between the two of them, over half of the stone already loosened. 

“C’mon, c’mon,” Howard gritted out, feeling the beads of sweat soaking his shirt and rolling down his face. 

“Steady Stark,” Shuri whispered, though she remained just as tense. 

Tony released a large blast from his gauntlet and again Thanos swatted the energy away, this time his large hand reaching out for Tony and catching a hold of his helmet and ripping it off. For a moment Tony’s terrified face was exposed until quickly the nanobites formed a new helmet over his face but not quick enough. Thanos’ monstrous hand backhanded Tony sending him flying across the room into a pile of rubble. 

He wasn’t moving.

Shit, shit, shit. 

The Titan began advancing upon Howard and Shuri with a smug grin across his horrible face and Howard wondered if this was one of the futures Strange mentioned that they would end up losing in. 

Two more minutes. That’s all they needed but it might as well have been two hours. Tony was finally starting to stir from where he’d been thrown but there was no way that he’d be able to come to their aide fast enough.

“Do you have this?” Howard asked turning to the Princess and she nodded.

“What are you going to do?”

“Buy you a couple of minutes,” Howard said and reached down to the silver cuffs on each of his wrists and activated the nano-gauntlets Tony had gifted him, the small red and gold pieces streamed and formed over his hands. It wouldn’t be enough to stop Thanos but every single second counted right now. 

Howard raised the gauntlets the way that his son had taught him to and fired. As expected the energy merely stunned the monster and even then only briefly. So, Howard hit him with another round to the same effect, but the titan kept advancing, each stunning shot glancing off of him, but Tony was up now on one knee coughing, flecks of blood flying from his bleeding mouth. His suit was in shambles, nanobites scattered everywhere from where he had been absorbing all of Thano’s hits, leaving him partially unprotected. If the nanotech had one flaw, this was it, Howard lamented.

“You’re a fool to die for this android,” Thanos said when he was finally upon Howard drawing his attention back to the purple beast in front of him.

“I’d gladly die to protect my family from a monster like you,” Howard said, firing off another blast. 

Thanos just laughed as he let the energy engulf him. “Wish granted,” the titan responded and raised his fist back to attack, but in the blink of an eye the whirring of thrusters could be heard as Tony appeared before Howard and blocked Thanos’ hit with his broken suit around his arms. His entire body quivered with the force of holding the brute back.

“Help Shuri,” Tony grunted out, spinning to block another punch. 

Howard was hypnotized though, the sheer strength it must have taken to be able to withstand a hit like that, to actively hold it back, especially with the suit in shambles as it was. His son would never cease to amaze him. Reluctantly he deactivated the gauntlets and moved to turn back to Shuri.

“No more games,” Thanos groaned.

“I agree,” Howard heard Tony reply. He couldn’t help but to turn back to the fight as he reached Shuri, just in time to see Tony throw his arm back, the nanobites on his legs and chest running up his arm to form a devastating looking sword. He flung the sword forward, aiming for the titan’s torso but he was ready for Tony and snatched his arm up and broke the sword away from his suit.

“You’re not ruining my plans this time, Tony Stark.”

Howard watched his son’s face falter at the sound of his name, horror washing over him as his eyes locked onto Thanos. What followed next felt like it was in slow motion. Thanos continued holding Tony’s left arm with his right and flipped the sword around on Tony and impaled his torso upon his own weapon, the sword piercing all the way through and coming out his back with a sickening squelch. Howard would never forget the sound of Tony’s pained and surprised gasp, the titan pushing him backwards now with little resistance as his son's hands scrambled up to the sword to keep it from slipping further into him, even as Thanos continued to push back. 

“TONY!” Howard didn’t even recognize his own voice screaming out until he felt Shuri’s strong grip on his arm, pulling him backwards towards her and Vision.

“You can’t help him now. Help me finish this or this will all be for nothing!” 

The rational part of Howard’s brain agreed with the young princess, urging him forward and to her side, his hands moving on autopilot. The part of him that was a father continued to cry out in pain, his hands moving but his eyes firmly fixed on the horrifying scene in front of him. It was like having front row tickets to his child's death.

The titan pushed Tony back, step by bloody step as he gasped and writhed around the sword, until he finally lost his footing and fell back haphazardly on the broken debris of the palace. Thanos grasped at strands of his sweaty hair, forcing Tony to keep his attention on him. 

"You have my respect Stark," the monster lamented begrudgingly, releasing Tony’s hair from his fist. “When I am done half of humanity will still be alive.”

Tony’s eyes wearily remained connected with Thanos as he backed away from where he’d fallen, the blade still painfully lodged in his side, the back of his shirt turning dark with blood. He coughed and Howard watched his son take a shuddering painful breath, horrified when each painful gasp brought with it a mouthful of blood. 

The wound was catastrophic, yet instead of slipping away into unconsciousness, Tony shifted his position into a slumped defensive stance, like he had taken a page out of Steve's playbook and could do this all day.

“That’s it,” Shuri whispered and Howard ripped his attention away from his son and to the young Princess as the extricated infinity stone floated and twirled in the air over Vision’s unconscious body. The androids vitals thankfully all remained the same, though only time would tell just how affected he was by the removal.

Howard’s eyes shot back to Thanos but he hadn’t noticed, his full attention still on Tony. Carefully he reached down into his bag and grabbed the specialized power glove that he and Tony had designed to handle the raw power of the infinity stones, and slipped it over Shuri’s hand, squeezing gently at her wrist as it took form. He leaned forward and spoke quietly, “Get out of here. Take the stone to Wanda as fast as you can. Don’t stop for anything. Peter should be nearby.”

“I’m well prepared,” she said softly, revealing the Wakandan weapons on her hip and her greatest super power asset, Nike running shoes. “You’re not coming?” she asked even though she already knew the reason why he wasn’t, her eyes momentarily flickering to Tony. 

“My place is here,” Howard confirmed and Shuri offered him a smile in return, knowing that she would have made the same choice in his position if it had been T’Challa in Tony's position “It was a pleasure working with you.”

“And you as well.” 

Shuri activated the glove without another moment to spare, securing the infinity stone within before turning and sprinting away, her sneakers squeaking lightly against the tiled floor. 

Howard gave one last cursory glance to Vision, and though he felt an obligation to protect that android, the expense of his only child was far too high of a cost.

“I hope that they’ll remember you,” Thanos finally spoke again as he brought his fist up, the row of colorful infinity stones lighting up across his gauntlet.

Mind made up, Howard activated the wrist gauntlets once more and rushed to make his way to the fight. It wasn’t far off from him but in the moment it felt like miles of wreckage and destruction stretching out between him and his son. He wouldn’t make it unless he did something now. Maybe the flares would be enough to stun him and get Tony away? The gauntlets switched modes automatically and were primed to fire. Howard lifted his hands up and --

“STOP!”

Everyone’s heads snapped away from the scene at hand to follow the voice to a fiery heap of across the room. A weary and injured Dr. Strange was struggling to pull himself up into a sitting position, but his eyes were clear and firm when they met those of the purple titan. 

“Spare his life and I will give you the time stone.”

Thanos perked up at the mention of the other missing stone for his collection, but Tony’s face instantly morphed into one of abject horror.

“DON’T!!” he gasped as he turned towards Strange, a new trickle of blood escaping from the corner of his mouth as his body jostled around the sword. 

Howard tentatively continued his approach towards Tony, slowly lowering his gauntlets. As awful as it would be to be down another infinity stone, he was all for it if it meant that Tony would survive. He hadn’t survived this long and been given the second chance that he never deserved just to let it all end today. 

“No tricks?” Thanos asked the wizard with skeptic interest. 

Strange shook his head and plucked the small green stone from the air, then used further magic to send it towards Thanos. 

Finally Howard reached Tony’s form and placed a reassuring hand on the younger man’s shoulder but Tony didn’t even so much as flinch in acknowledgement, instead watching wide eyed and slack jawed as as the titan added the green stone to his gauntlet, writhing in the unbridled power boost he was given. 

The monster smiled in glee as the energy boost slowly calmed and he flexed his palm open and shut with wonder, clearly satisfied with his end of the bargain, but then he turned his attention back to Tony, the gauntlet clenched into a fist and gave Howard and Tony a sadistic smile. For a moment Howard’s heart clenched in dread and panic that the bastard might renege on his deal and kill Tony anyway, honestly what could stop him at this point? Instead he glanced at the two of them and then to where Vision’s prone form was still sprawled out, clearly devoid of the glowing Mind stone. 

The gauntlet glowed as it activated. “One to go,” Thanos grinned, and in a flash he was gone.

“Bastard,” Tony muttered under his breath but Howard wasn’t sure if the expletive was meant for Thanos or Strange at that moment. 

“Let me help you,” he offered instead, motioning to Tony’s wound.

Tony didn’t respond at first, his eyes still firmly set on the blank space that Thanos had occupied and then let loose a shaky sigh. “Do it fast,” he muttered in exhaustion and turned away, his focus moving back to Dr. Strange.

“Do you have something in that suit to stop the bleeding?”

“Something…”

That wasn’t entirely encouraging but Howard trusted that Tony wouldn’t let him do this if it meant that he’d bleed out in this rubble. Tony slowly relinquished the white knuckled, sweaty grip that he had held over the sword, hands shaking as Howard’s much steadier ones took their place. 

“On three?” Howard asked and suddenly his mind was filled with a much older memory of his son, maybe five years old, standing in his office with his first loose tooth. Tony had been scared that it would hurt to have it pulled but the tooth was already nearly out, just barely clinging to his gums. Howard proposed they waited until the count of three and Tony and hesitated but agreed, only Howard easily pulled the tooth out on the first count and Tony had been too amazed by the tooth to worry about the tissue Howard had swapped the tooth for to start clotting the blood. Why that of all memories chose to come back in this moment he couldn't say. This certainly wasn't a dangling incisor, this was an 18 inch blade embedded in his side. One twitch the wrong way could be even more devastating, deadly even.

Tony nodded slightly in agreement with his father and Howard breathed in deeply once, his hands steady and calm. “One…”

Like in the past, without further fanfare, Howard quickly and carefully dislodged the sword, his sure handedness preventing any additional damage being done with the removal. Tony gasped in pain as it was removed and Howard dropped the offending weapon to the ground beside them. Blood trickled from the wound a little more but Tony just raised a gauntleted hand once more and sprayed medical foam over it, stopping the bleeding for now. 

It was a formula that Howard and Tony had developed with the help of Peter, whose webbing had been a partial inspiration and was instrumental in the foundation of the material. However, it had only been tested in the lab, never in the field and not with such a substantial injury. Howard was worried how well it would hold up, not to mention it would only keep for an hour or so, and his son was going to need serious medical attention. 

Before he could voice any of these concerns though, Tony sat up a bit straighter now with the wound closed, his eyes still hardened in Strange’s direction. 

“Why did you do it?” he asked in a quiet, almost broken sounding voice. 

Strange just shook his head and returned Tony’s gaze with a haunted look of his own. “We’re in the endgame now.”

Tony sprung up with more energy than he had any right to in that moment or perhaps it was nothing but adrenaline fueling him at this point, as he grasped weakly at his side and stepped towards the wizard. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Tony…” Howard cautioned as the younger man swayed but Tony just shrugged him off and stumbled forward a few more steps, pointing an accusatory finger at Strange.

“You said that if it came down to me or anyone else and the stone, it was no contest. What changed between then and now? What did you see in your new age-y meditations that suddenly has you giving up the store  _ now _ ?”

Strange just sighed, though he looked pained and tired like they all did. “If I told you...then it wouldn’t happen.”

His words did nothing to quell Tony’s anger, if anything only making him further frustrated. “Bullshit. Fine, be a coward. I have too much to lose right now to waste anymore time debating with you.”

The meager remnants of Tony’s nano suit began moving across his body again as he stumbled back towards Howard and picked up the bloody sword. When connected back to the other nanos, it was quickly absorbed back into the suit, blood and all, allowing enough nanos to fully form the suit gauntlets and boots, but nowhere near enough to completely protect him.

“Tony, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Howard asked in frustration. 

“Getting back into the fight before Thanos can get the last stone.”

“Don’t be an idiot, son, you’re hurt and you barely have a leg to stand on when it comes to the suit. Let's just calm down and regroup, let Steve and the others take it from here…”

As soon as the words came out of his mouth Howard knew he had made a fatal mistake. While Tony and Steve were hardly enemies these days, there was still a strange, black storm cloud hanging over the three of them any time they were together, and Howard knew that he only had himself to blame for that, prioritizing the super soldier over his own son to a great detriment of his young life, but this time he really didn’t mean anything by it. Steve and the others were out there fighting still too and Tony was not in the mental or physical capacity to get back into the fight again. He didn’t have super strength or enhanced healing. Underneath the suit he was far too human and he had too many people counting on him to be acting so reckless. Better the others take the hits than his son.

The gauntlets came to life in defiance, as well as the boots, propelling Tony shakily into the air as they worked at nowhere near full power. 

“I’ll get a new nano module from Veronica, but thanks for the vote of confidence,” Tony retorted and tried to take off but there just wasn’t enough juice left in the tattered remains of the nano suit, sending Tony off balance and careening back to the ground. Before he could hit the ground, he was suddenly enveloped by a familiar white webbing, his fall changing to a gentle lowering back to the ground. 

“Sorry, Mr. Stark, I agree with Mr. Howard on this one,” Peter said, doing an acrobatic flip from where he had been hanging on the ceiling and landing delicately on the ground below, his nano mask folding back into the suit to reveal his face as he stood.

“Thank you, Parker,” Howard said and clasped the boy on the arm. He looked no worse for wear and tear considering, just a little bruised, but Peter still smiled kindly at them both.

“Peter, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be helping Shuri,” Tony growled as he tried to shake the webbing off of his arm before settling for cutting through it with another hastily made nano blade.

“I was. Or I did. I got her to Wanda but then she told me what was happening back here and I had to help. Captain America and T’Challa and some others are protecting them now.” A rumble of thunder and a crack of electricity rumbled in the background and Peter cracked a smile. “Thor too,” he added.

Tony grumbled, but the manic energy of before began to melt away, replaced with bone weary exhaustion as Howard and Peter each helped him back to his feet. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “You okay, Pete?” Peter let Tony look him over like a worried father would, and boy did Howard understand that now, ultimately he seemed satisfied with the youth’s health and patted his cheek gently. “You did good, kid.” 

Peter preened under the attention as the two began quietly discussing the events of the last few minutes. The kid looked the injury over with his untrained eyes and all but begged Tony to let Karen scan the wound and determine the severity of the injury but Tony continued to be stubborn and refused. 

Howard was about to step in and side with Peter when another thrum of rolling thunder echoed out in the distance, the air positively vibrating with energy, sending goosebumps up and down his arms and the hair at the back of his neck prickling up.

This thunder felt much different than Thor’s earlier bursts of energy. 

This one felt...malevolent.

They all had stopped moving, breathing really, as they searched for the source of the thunder. It was so quiet now that you could hear a pin drop, which given the echoes of the fighting that had been permeating the background all day, could not mean anything good unless...Had they won?

Howard stepped forward towards the gaping hole in the building, walking until he could see what had now been turned into the battlefield just outside the Wakandan palace. All the fighting seemed to have come to a standstill, everyone around them searching for the same thing that he did. 

And then he saw it…

“What the…”

“Tony…” Dr Strange’s voice cut through his thoughts and they all snapped their heads toward the wizard. He still hadn’t moved an inch from where he had been before. “For what it’s worth...I am sorry. It was the only way."

Tony’s hand was grasping at Peter’s shoulder as he stared at Strange in bewilderment. 

It was at that moment that they all realized that Strange knew what was going on. He had seen this moment in time and he knew what that thunder meant. There was sadness and acceptance in his eyes as they all watched in horror as the man slowly disintegrated into nothing but specks of ash or dust, blowing away with the wind as it passed.

The same way that Howard just saw happening on the battlefield.

“What just happened? Is that one of his wizard tricks?” Peter asked as calmly as possible, his hands clenched beside him and his eyes wide as saucers.

“I-I don’t think....” Tony began but didn’t finish as he walked over to where Strange had just been. He gently crouched down and reached out to touch a bit of the ash with a shaky hand. 

Peter’s face went pale and he wrapped his arms tightly across his chest as Tony turned back around with grim uncertainty. 

“We need to get somebody on the comms,” Howard stated matter of fact. They needed to reach out to Steve or the King or anyone and find out what the hell was happening. 

Then...Peter took a stumbling step in Tony’s direction causing both men to jump towards the young boy in alarm.

“Um, Mr. Stark,” He called out, taking another staggering step forward and Howard looked down at the boys legs in horror as he saw the same ash particles beginning to pull away from the boys suit as they had Strange. “I don’t feel so good.”

Tony jumped up from where he had been crouched, steadily approaching Peter and trying his best to project an aura of calmness. He held a hand out to him. “You’re okay. You’re fine.”

Even as he said it though, particles began to rip away from Peter’s arms. Peter noticed it too and suddenly the floodgates were opened, as his uncertainty turned to fear.

“I don’t--” Peter gasped, “I don’t know what’s happening--” he stumbled forward, losing balance as one of his feet began to melt away into nothing. Tony was instantly there to catch him and the boy wrapped his arms around his mentor in a death grip. “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, sir, please. Please, I don’t wanna go,” the boy pleaded, a tear falling from his eyes and rolling down his cheek as Tony did all that he could to hold onto him as he repeated his mantra. “I don’t wanna go,” he whispered one more time before his other foot faded away into nothingness and he and Tony were falling.

They hit the ground with Tony doing all he could to break Peter's fall. His eyes were wide and horrified but he couldn’t seem to speak, or more likely, he didn’t know what to say to comfort this boy as he pleaded with Tony to save him and there was absolutely nothing he could do. 

Suddenly, the nightmare that Tony had always worried about was coming true before his own eyes. 

_ Why didn’t you do more?! _

Peter calmed slightly as he laid back on the ground, Tony’s hand on his shoulder and the other one gripping his hand. He glanced sadly at Howard and then turned back to Tony and nodded his head as if in acceptance. “I’m sorry...Tony,” he whispered, and then in an instant the boy was gone and Tony pitched forward into the ground, his hands covered in the ashes of what was once Peter Parker.

_ Why didn’t you do more??? _

Tony turned his head back to look at Howard, eyes wide in pain and confusion, looking every inch the child that used to come to his office to hide from thunderstorms, but this time Howard had no answers for him, nothing to take away the fear. He remained glued to the spot, not sure what had just taken place and whether or not it was yet even over. 

“He did it…” a weak voice called out. Howard still couldn’t move but from the corner of his eye he watched as Vision gingerly sat up from the table, seemingly still intact even after the removal of the mind stone. And it should have been amazing. A feat of engineering brilliance, but after what they had just experienced… “Fifty percent of the population…” Vision continued unperturbed by their silence, his own voice quiet and reverent as well.

Whether Tony heard what the android said or not, Howard couldn’t be sure. He was now sitting and staring at his hands, hardly blinking, and Howard realized he was waiting for it to take him too. Waiting for the moment that his body would begin to peel away from existence. Howard held his breath as the seconds ticked by and turned into minutes but neither he or Tony experienced the same event that had taken away Peter or Strange. When nothing happened Tony growled in frustration and punched at the ground, wincing as his fists connected with the rubble and the movement pulled at the gash at his side. 

All energy depleted he covered his mouth with his bloody and ash covered fists and closed his eyes, oblivious to the tear streaks cutting paths through the blood and grime of his own cheeks.

For the first time he was truly...defeated.

_ Why didn’t you do more... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. A World Torn Asunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Sorry for the long wait. I am just going through a lot of personal issues, if you follow the tumblr pages you may already know. Thank you for your continued patience and support! 
> 
> So, a few things... We have new tags for TW this chapter - minor non graphic vomiting and VERY brief and vague suicidal thoughts, both at the very end, so take care dearies. Also you may have noticed that this story has now gone from 3 to 4 chapters....mainly because this one is 10k and still didn't include everything I wanted it to, so one more for this fic and then we'll move onto the next installment.
> 
> Thanks again for all the love and reviews and patience. You know I love you all. Stay safe and leave me your thoughts in a comment down below.
> 
> Sorry in advance!

Pepper bolted upright in the middle of the bed, feeling for a moment disoriented and confused. She turned her head to look out the window and noticed that the afternoon sun was starting to hang low in the sky, casting brilliant orange hues across the house, the earlier gray clouds having completely floated away. She tried to remember what exactly had woken her up so abruptly, it had to have been a dream that she had but she couldn’t recall anything that had happened. She thought maybe Tony was in it but everything else about it had been hazy and fuzzy around the edges, slipping away before she could grasp it.

She rubbed at her eyes and then turned towards the night stand where her phone had been charging during her nap and opened it up, making sure Tony hadn’t tried to call or message her about the progress. When she unlocked it though, the sweet picture of Tony holding Morgan both with identical smiles faded away, but there were no new notifications of import. A couple of emails had come in but she elected to ignore them until she went back to work tomorrow. 

On the off chance that Tony took a break in the near future though she went ahead and shot him a quick message.

_ Will you be home for dinner? _

She waited a couple of minutes to see if he would look at his phone or respond at all, not even surprised when it went unread. He was busy. She knew exactly what was going to occur today so she decided not to stress about it, Tony would get in contact with her when he was able. 

She stood up and stretched, her back cracking in a satisfying manner, when she remembered that she should probably get Morgan up too. Pepper had laid down for a nap when she put her daughter down, her eyes slowly closing as she had watched Morgan drift off on the baby monitor. A cursory check of the monitor though showed that Morgan wasn’t in her bed. That may not have struck her as odd, Maria had still been here when she took her nap so she thought maybe she had taken care of her but the house was unsettlingly still and quiet. She didn’t hear the tv or radio or the sounds of Morgan playing. 

Pepper snatched one of Tony’s green sweaters from the end of the bed and threw it on over her t-shirt, before peeking into Morgan's neighboring room to make sure she wasn’t in there. Everything in her room was just as silent and still. Pepper felt a chill tickle across her spine despite the warmth of Tony’s shirt and she hurried down the stairs into the main open living area. 

“Maria? Morgan?”

Silence.

She slipped on a pair of flats that she kept near the back kitchen door and popped out onto the porch, searching the surrounding area, scanning the garden and the lakefront. Tony’s garage was still locked up tight from what she could tell and there was still no sign of Morgan.

Her in-laws' cottage had smoke pluming from the chimney though so Maria might have also taken Morgan there, perhaps feeling like Pepper needed some rest. She sprinted down the little pathway, shoes sloshing through the remnants of melted snow from when it had snowed the week before, only the barest amount of muddy slush clinging to the grass in the shady areas of the yard. 

The front door of the cottage was closed but unlocked as she barreled through, calling out once more for her daughter and mother in law, again only to be met with silence. 

What the hell was going on?

She wandered through the empty house, her heart starting to beat erratically in panic, her adrenaline spiking. She pulled out her phone again and unlocked it, no messages, no missed calls, scrolled past Tony’s smiling picture and selected Maria’s cell phone. It wasn’t often either she or Howard actually kept them on their person, still not entirely acclimated to the twenty-first century but she had to give it a try.

The line started ringing and Pepper felt her skin starting to buzz with the anxiety. Then her heart dropped when she heard the standard Stark Phone ring tone echoing upstairs. She climbed the steps slowly, not disconnecting the call, following the noise all the way to Howard and Maria’s bedroom. She cracked the door open and looked inside, spying the phone charging on the dresser.

“Damn it!”

Pepper found herself longing for a time when she would have been able to snap her phone shut in satisfactory aggravation, as it was she had to settle for tapping the touch screen _ really _ hard to emphasize her distress.

There was only one other place that she could really think to look before she started calling every number in her phone until someone could give her answers. 

The back door was slightly ajar as she opened it up and stepped out onto the porch that overlooked the alpaca pen. Nothing was there though. No humans, no animals. Her car and Maria’s vehicles were both still in the driveway so they couldn’t have left the property that way. Perhaps they’d gone for a walk around the lake? Or one of the walking paths? The grounds were wet and muddy from the morning rain and the melted slush though, and even with the sun coming back out for however long it had, the temperature was still chilly enough that Maria wouldn’t have taken Morgan out for that long. Maybe they--

And then she heard it. Gerald was making little whines and noises before coming out of his pen, Larry and Harold fresh on his heels as they trotted across the pen, followed by Maria and a little pink bundle in her arms.

_ Morgan. _

“Morgan!” Pepper called, out happily, the anxiety draining away from her bones the second she caught sight of her daughter.

Maria and Morgan both turned to Pepper and the little girl smiled brilliantly, one of Tony’s bright grins that lit up her entire face. Pepper couldn’t help but laugh as she rushed to the pair.

“Hi! Hi!” Morgan babbled and awkwardly waved her hand. It was one of about three words she could say and it made Pepper’s heart fill with warmth and love.

“Hi baby!,” she waved back as she got closer. “I’ve been looking all over for you two! I thought I was going to have to put out an Amber alert,” Pepper teased, though she had truly been considering it.

Maria cocked her head to the side as she handed Morgan over to Pepper, the little girl’s nose starting to get pink at the tip, despite being bundled up like she was heading for Siberia. “I left you a note on the fridge, dear. Morgan woke up a little while ago, but you looked so tired this morning I figured it was best to just let you get a little more time in before the whirlwind that is my son comes home and stirs everything up again,” she smiled, fondly. 

“I took Morgan over to the cottage to play for a bit, but then she wanted to see the Alpacas so we went to feed them a snack. I’m sorry I should have put the note by your bedside, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Pepper waved her off with a smile and a wave. “No, no, no. It’s fine really,” she said readjusting Morgan on her hip. “I just woke up really suddenly, I don’t know, I had a weird dream or something so I was a little more disoriented than usual. I guess I’m just not used to peace and quiet. Quiet in this house usually means trouble.”

They turned and exited the alpaca pen, Maria closing it up tight behind them and started walking down the path to the main house. 

“Trust me, I understand. Quietness was a rarity in our home too, as you can imagine, and with a child like Anthony, that probably meant that he was disassembling a toaster or trying to sneak scraps of machinery out of the garage.”

“Yeah, I am not looking forward to this one being more mobile, but it won’t be long now. She’s been pulling herself up on everything that she can. I think she is tired of ruining her knees crawling,” Pepper joked and kissed Morgan’s chubby cheeks. 

“Oh, I’ve seen her. The real fun is about to begin. Before it does though I was thinking we could make a real pizza for dinner, not that greasy excuse for a mess Anthony devours either.”

“That would be amazing. I’m starving.”

“I knew you would be and I’m sure Anthony and Howard will be when they get home as well.”

“Yeah, hopefully it will be…”

Pepper cut her words off as the sound of a vehicle speeding up the driveway was heard and she and Maria froze in place. Tony and the others hadn’t driven and every one of them was in Wakanda in case there was some kind of crisis. There was no reason for anyone to be visiting at all. They waited another moment until the vehicle finally came into view and Pepper sighed in relief as she recognized Happy’s black Audi, and it looked like...he had May with him? They were supposed to be on a date. 

The car had barely been parked before Happy and May both jumped out of the vehicle. 

“Pepper! Pepper! Have you heard from Tony?” Happy shouted, struggling against the seat belt he hadn’t quite gotten over his shoulder.

“Or Peter?” May asked frantically. 

Pepper’s brow narrowed in confusion. “No, I haven’t. I messaged him but he hasn’t responded yet.” And why would Peter call or text _ her _ ? “What’s going on guys?”

May’s face crumpled up into a grimace as she turned back towards Happy who had finally managed to fight his way out of the seatbelt. He didn’t look much better, eyes wide and sweat on his forehead. He seemed very disheveled too, like they had dropped everything to run here. The bad feeling Pepper carried with her earlier was back, a heavy weight in her chest.

“The aliens are back. I saw ‘em on TV,” Happy exclaimed and started ushering everyone back into the house. 

A loud crack of thunder rang out in the distance which at the time had struck Pepper odd since the rain clouds had all but gone away, but her attention was now focused on Tony and aliens, and what the hell was happening.

“Aliens, here in New York?!!” she asked as Happy pushed them all into the living room and flipped on the TV.

He shook his head as he searched for the right channel. “No,” he said quietly, “in Wakanda.” 

The TV screen filled with images of the African nation from afar, at its border, giant donut looking spaceships slicing through the sky. The ground trembled and explosions could be heard but no one could get close enough for much more.

“What the fuck?” Pepper whispered, and clung tighter to Morgan who whined and wiggled against her but she couldn’t stop looking at the tv and realizing that this is what Tony had been fearing so long, now Bruce’s prophecy coming true before their eyes. She felt tingly and nauseated all over her body. “How long ago was this Hap?” she asked and turned to the man.

“It's live I...MAY!” He broke off in the middle of his reply and that’s when Pepper saw it.

Where May had once been standing by Happy’s side, Pepper watched in horror as the woman’s skin began cracking and peeling, turning into ash all around her. It was quick, there was no time to react. She didn’t even think that May had had time to realize something was happening to her until she was nothing more than dust on the floorboards. 

* * *

Tony didn’t know how long he sat there motionless. Seconds, minutes, hours. None of it mattered. Not the throbbing pain in his side or the way his stomach churned sickly. Not the way his mind was drowning, constantly shifting and changing, realizing every mistake that he had made, how he could have done better, how he could have done more, how he wished what happened had taken him instead. 

He could still hear Peter’s voice in his mind, begging Tony to help him. He could still feel Peter’s grip on his arms, feel the way that he trembled and tore away, leaving behind some sort of phantom effect on Tony’s limbs, that if he just closed his eyes and opened them enough, eventually the boy would be there, that he would be safe…

But he wasn’t.

He was gone.

Just a pile of ashes at Tony’s feet. Nothing to show of the brilliant, young hero, the _ teenager  _ that had been there before with his kind smile, his clean soul. Of everyone, why did it have to be the purest of them all? The one who just wanted to make a difference? He didn’t deserve it. 

Why didn’t it take him instead? His soul was blackened with the wrong doings of his past, the lives he destroyed knowingly or not. The people he’d let die in Sokovia when he unleashed Ultron upon the world. Instead, Peter Parker joined the Charlie Spencer’s of the world, took up residence in Tony’s soul, darkening it further with his loss and he knew in that moment he would carry the memory of that boy with him and how he had utterly failed him until his dying day. 

“Tony...Tony…”

He heard his father gently calling out to him but he couldn’t bring himself to even open his eyes or acknowledge the other man at all. 

He heard other voices chattering off in the distance but he couldn’t bother to distinguish one from the other. What did it matter at this point? They lost. He lost. 

“He’s been like this since….” Howard trailed off to whoever he was speaking to, words failing him as to what the hell they had just experienced. 

Then…

“Tones?” came the low rumble of his best friend's voice and that finally triggered some kind of response from his brain, his bloodshot eyes finally creeping open as he started to process the scene.

Rhodey looked sweaty and tired as hell, a gash on his lip but otherwise safe, alive, a solid presence before him. Tony’s thoughts sharpened, steering away from the grief of Peter Parker for just a moment to let other thoughts in, like that his best friend had been spared, he was still alive and here with him, scared and worried but _ here _ . He wanted to hug the man and not let him go. He wanted to tell him he loved him and was relieved by his appearance, by the solid weight of his hand as it came to rest on his shoulder, but the disconnect between his brain and mouth was still present and instead he blurted out the only thing that had been circling his mind.

“I lost the kid,” he choked out, his throat hoarse and gravelly, desperately in need of water to soothe it. He felt the tears well in his eyes but he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop them, especially not when Rhodey’s face crumpled and shared in his misery. 

“I’m sorry,” Rhodey said, gently. His grip on Tony tightened and he pulled him forward, Tony unable to resist even if wanted to, his body sapped completely of all energy or will to fight. 

He turned his face into the crook of Rhodey’s neck not caring of the sweat or dirt because underneath all the was the familiar feel of his best friend, the reminder of plenty of memories of being held in his friend’s arms when Howard would piss off after Steve while Tony was at MIT, or in later years when Tony would get rip roaring drunk after his family had been killed. Hell even in the days after Afghanistan Rhodey would crash over at the house in Malibu and pull Tony out of his screaming night terrors and stay with him until he could breathe again. In intervening years Pepper had mostly taken over this solemn duty but his mind still registered Rhodey as  _ safe  _ and it was easy to fall into old habits.

They stayed like that for a few moments, long enough for Tony’s side to feel like it was on fire from where he was straining it. Tony shifted to ease the strain and pulled back finally, not caring how red his face surely was or about the tears that still fell of their own volition.

“What happened?” Tony asked after a long moment.

Rhodey sighed and wiped at his face. “Thanos got the stone. Wanda destroyed it, we watched her do it, but then it was like Thanos just hit the reset button, it was put back together like nothing had happened and he took it. Thor tried to stop him, buried his axe in Thanos chest but he was still alive. He snapped his fingers and then he and his army were gone. Then everyone started disappearing…” he trailed off quietly.

“Who else did we lose?” Tony asked. He wasn’t sure that he actually really wanted to know, the loss of Peter had been more than enough for him to deal with, but he had to know. He had to know who else he had failed. 

“Steve is still trying to get a full count on everyone. It’s not good…”

“Who  _ else _ did we lose?” Tony snapped and Rhodey was slightly taken aback by the hostility in his tone, eyes searching Tony’s brown ones until he huffed. 

“Wilson, Barnes, Wanda, Shuri, and we think T’Challa too. Pretty much everyone that piggybacked to Earth with Thor.”

“Bruce, Nat?”

“Alive.”

Tony nodded, taking a deep breath of his own. 

“Strange?” Rhodey asked him this time.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head, the wizard’s last words rattling around in his mind. The image of him giving up the time stone playing on repeat. If Strange hadn’t saved him then Thanos wouldn’t have gotten the mind stone, wouldn’t have been able to reverse Wanda’s work. 

“It’s all my fault,” he whispered and ran a hand through his sweat matted hair, pulling at the strands just enough to cause a little bit of pain because he deserved it. 

“Tones, don’t do this…”

“I should be dead,” he silenced Rhodey’s calming voice. “ I should be dead but I’m not. Thanos had me on the ropes and…” he gritted his teeth and looked away, “...and Strange intervened. He gave up the time stone to stay my execution. Fucking idiot.”

“Why would he do that? I thought he said…”

“I thought he did too, but he fucking did it. Said that it was the only way. “

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know,” he whispered. 

It didn’t make any sense at all. The man made it extremely clear that he had no qualms with letting any of them die if it meant the fate of the universe was saved and Tony had actually appreciated the sincerity in the Doctor’s voice. He knew that he meant it or at least had in the moment, and Tony understood where he was coming from. The greater good was what needed protecting. So, what had made him do a one-eighty in the middle of battle? He had never been particularly fond of Tony, his distaste often made quite clear which was also fine with Tony. They were too alike in personality to spend any length of time together. And yet he saved him. What the hell was in his vision? And why did he let the earth, the universe pay the price?

“Tony you’re bleeding. We need to get you medical attention,” Rhodey said, breaking his thoughts as his hand came away red with Tony’s blood from where it had brushed against his side.

He started to protest that he could just add another layer of the medical foam over the wound but he knew that Pepper would kill him if he didn’t get checked out…

He felt a hundred ton cement block drop from his chest to his stomach. He could feel the heat of another round of adrenaline begin to pump through his veins, even as his hands shook in contradiction. 

He had been so wrapped up in himself and Peter and everything happening in Wakanda...the snap...what Thanos did...Strange said it would affect the Earth, the universe. 

Pepper. Morgan. Mom. 

What if they…?

No.

He nearly passed out on the spot from the head rush when he jumped to his feet, swaying this way and that until Rhodey steadied him. He couldn’t hear what the man was saying to him though, the ringing in his ears was back and drowned out everything around him as he shoved his hands into his jeans and searched for his phone. 

“Pepper,” was all that he was able to say to Rhodey to hopefully convey where his thought process was as he finally produced the phone from his pocket. The screen was cracked at the top right corner and rippled all the way to the bottom, twisting and distorting the smiling picture of Pepper and Morgan from Christmas. He felt his chest tighten further seeing their faces looking up at him...oh god if he lost one of them...or both of them….there would be no coming back from it. 

He swiped at the screen and was instantly greeted with a text message from Pepper.

_ Will you be home for dinner?  _

Sent almost an hour ago. 

She had been here. Maybe she still was. How long had it been since Peter disappeared? Time was all askew, Tony didn’t know how long he had spent wallowing.

He clicked the green call button and the screen lit up with another picture of Pepper smiling, his favorite from a few years back when they had spent the weekend on a beach in Malibu, the sun shining bright behind her. The phone rang once and then a busy tone beeped furiously in his ear. He hung up the call and quickly redialed only to get the same result. 

“Fuck! Friday, you there?” he asked poking at the communicator in his ear.

“I’m here, Boss,” she immediately responded.

“Call Pepper.”

Friday was quiet for several moments as she attempted to connect the call and Tony finally reinstated eye contact with Rhodey again. At some point his friend had realized what he was doing and had gotten his own phone out, tapping at it furiously, seemingly not having any better luck than he was. Even Howard, who he finally noticed out of his peripheral vision, had the oft neglected phone in hand as he surely tried to dial Maria. 

“Boss, there’s no connection. Satellites and communication towers are either jammed or down worldwide.”

Of course because there were probably several billion people all having the same exact idea and jamming the networks. That’s not accounting for the workers who were responsible for the upkeep needed to make communication possible in the first place that were probably nothing more than ash in the wind at this point. 

“Can you connect to the cabin?”

“No, Boss, I’m cut off,” came the regrettable reply.

“I’ve gotta get out of here,” he mumbled to himself more than anything, pushing away from where Rhodey still had a hold of him, keeping him balanced. 

“Hey!” Rhodey called out, dropping his phone and stumbling after him but Tony just shrugged him off.

Tony didn’t exactly know where he was going; Doctor Strange had opened up a damn portal in his backyard and brought them all to Wakanda in the blink of an eye, so that transportation method was not going to be an option. He didn’t have a quinjet here. He had his suit but it was in tatters. Maybe if he was able to get through to Veronica he could get a new nano module, but if Friday was having issues connecting to the house he wasn’t sure if she’d be able to communicate with Veronica. God damn it, he would swim across the ocean alone if he had to. 

“Tony, let me help you,” Rhodey finally asserted, gripping him by the back of his tattered shirt and holding firm., stopping him in his tracks. Tony whipped his head around in anger but Rhodey held his ground and lowered his voice. “I’ll get you home.” He said the words so smoothly, so confident, like the entire universe hadn’t just been upended, so much like the man that found him and saved him from wandering the desert. Tony believed him.

His anger deflated even as he was bombarded with a rush of guilt that surely Rhodey was thinking about his own family right now and who could be missing. Mama, Jeannette, Lila… He scrunched his eyes shut and took a deep shuddering breath, the image of his beautiful niece filling his mind from the wedding when he held her in his arms and gave her her promised dance, spinning around the dance floor until they were both falling over in dizziness, her laughter echoing in his ears. How many more people would he be haunted by because of today?

“Tony, Rhodes,” Steve Rogers' voice called out as the battered super soldier made his way through the rubble and debris of the fallen palace. “Howard,” he nodded his head to the elder man as he still paced on the phone, dialing and redialing Maria.

“Cap,” Rhodey acknowledged. Tony didn’t even spare the man a glance. “How are we looking?”

“Just as bad as we feared. They’re all gone. Sam, Wanda, Bucky,” his breath hitched a little on the last name.

“Wanda?” came a forlorn echo as Vision reasserted himself back into the room.

The expression on Vision’s face was all too human in the strangest of ways, mirroring the grief in everyone else’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Nat saw her…” Steve trailed off and the android looked away.

“Of course. I understand,” he replied, with all the monotony of a robot, contrasting harshly against his crumpled features. He turned away from the conversation once more, staring out over the battle worn fields.

“I take it Strange…” Steve trailed off and Rhodey shook his head. “That’s too bad. Peter?”

Tony snapped back to attention turning the full ire of his gaze on the Captain. “Don’t. Don’t even say his name,” he warned.

Steve realized his mistake as soon as he said it, his eyes opening wide as he raised his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I know how much he meant to you.”

“Didn’t I just say to drop it, Cap?!” 

“Hey, hey, easy.” Rhodey stepped up between them and raised his hands. “Let’s not start this now. There’s a lot that has happened and we don’t need to hash it through right now. What we need to do is get back to the US. Any of the Dora Milaje survive? Maybe they have some sort of transport we could use.”

“I actually had a different idea,” Cap replied, running a hand through his dirty hair. “Nebula, one of the people who followed Thor down here, has a ship of some kind. If we can get a bead on Thanos, we can go after him.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Tony,” Rhodey cautioned.

“No, no. Don’t Tony me right now,” Tony said, pointing a finger at his friend, fire in his eyes. “I have a point to make and you’re thinking it just the same as I am. There’s no playing the diplomat now.”

Rhodey backed off, slightly but stayed near enough to step in if the conversation were to get out of hand. Tony wasn’t completely confident that it wouldn’t because he had a deep seated rage boiling in the pit of his stomach and Steve Rogers had suddenly become the perfect target. The remaining Avengers had also appeared, slowly trudging in around the scene, more battered and defeated than Tony had ever seen them. 

“We don’t even know what’s left of the world out there and you’re ready to blast off to space?” Tony said, turning his ire back to Steve. To his credit, the super soldier stood firm.

“Tony, if we can get the gauntlet we can reverse what happened here today.”

He sounded so fucking sure of himself despite everything. That stalwart Captain America always gets what he wants tone in his voice. 

“You and what army, Cap, because last time I checked we had been  _ decimated _ ,” he emphasized, drawing attention to the broken team surrounding them. “That’s it. It’s over. There’s no coming back from this. Even if you could find Thanos, how will you beat him? You gonna ask him real nicely to fix this? You see, that’s your problem, Cap, you don’t think because you’ve never met a problem you can't punch your way out of.”

“That’s not fair,” he heard his father say, quietly beside him. Tony wasn’t sure when the man had given up on his phone but he now stood with Tony and Rhodey, his face pale and stricken. At that moment he looked his actual age for the first time since his miraculous return. Maybe in another life it would have stopped Tony from pressing on but his father didn’t  _ know  _ everything.

“No. You see Howard, I predicted this, years ago,” he started conversationally, drawing his father’s attention to his face. “I knew that these guys would be back. I believe I remember mentioning something about needing a suit of armor around the world right? Isn’t that what I said, and you all thought I was crazy.”

This time he pointed an accusatory finger around at the others, but none of them challenged him. Clint was the only one who acknowledged his words with a shrug of his shoulders and a nod. Bruce, Tony would give a pass. He had been on Tony’s side from the start, in theory, if not always in practice. Nat too, to an extent. The memory of Thor’s giant hand around Tony’s neck though was a memory that he would never forget, no matter how often the god apologized for his actions. Tony felt a shiver run down his spine at the phantom sensation of being choked and turned back to Steve and all of his perfectness. He had his eyebrow raised. 

“Well, that didn’t work out did it?” Steve kept his tone even and low, as if he had to chastise a child.

Tony let the insult roll off of his back. “I told you that we’d lose. You said that we would do that together too. Well, we were together, we lost, Cap. Tell me, how is this better? Are we all holding hands and singing kum-ba-fucking-ya? It wasn’t enough.  _ We _ weren’t enough,” he stressed, getting as close to Steve’s face as he could when he said those words. “So tell me, where’s your bullshit moral superiority now?”

That had finally struck a nerve, Tony could see it in the way Steve’s eyes began to harden. Tony took a step back. His side was still burning fiercely with his every movement, sweat from the exertion of staying up right forming beads on his face. He took a deep breath and turned back to Howard. 

“This is really the guy that you spent your entire life chasing? This man?” Tony sized Steve up in disgust. “What a waste.” 

“Tony,” Steve stepped up and Rhodey and Howard both took a step forward to meet him. It didn’t matter. Tony was ready for a fight, even as he watched Steve’s blue eyes lose their hard edge and turn to something a little more real, desperate even. “We can’t just give up.”

“Who’s giving up, Cap? I was over here getting skewered fighting this guy off,” he said, tugging at his shirt to reveal the wound that had started bleeding again. Tony didn’t care. “Where were you?”

“Fighting right alongside you,” Steve responded through gritted teeth, his eyes not leaving the wound that disappeared back beneath Tony’s shirt.

“Really? Well, then you know as well as I do that we don’t stand a chance. We couldn’t even beat Thanos with a full team, with a Wakandan army backing us up even. You really want to run off half cocked right now? So, what? He can kill the rest of us?”

The question hung heavy in the air as Steve finally backed off, looking around the room at what remained of his defeated team, hopefully finally understanding the validity of Tony’s words. It was like speaking to a brick wall most times, but occasionally words got through.

“He’s right you know,” a husky female voice spoke. Tony looked over Steve’s shoulder and saw the blue woman that had arrived with Thor, leaning up against the wall with her arms tightly crossed over her chest. “My father is not going to be easy to find, or stop. You need a plan, even more now that your numbers are so few. He will not be forgiving a second time around.”

“I didn’t know he was forgiving to start with,” Clint mumbled under his breath. 

“Thank you! I like her. She may look like a blue meanie but she knows what the hell she is talking about.”

The woman averted her eyes but gave no other outward recognition of Tony’s praise.

“I can kill him,” Thor spoke up for the first time. He had been sitting quietly on the rubble just across from the blue meanie, for once seemingly lacking all poise and confidence, staring at the purple blood all over his axe.

Tony’s gaze softened with his tone. “I hope you can, Thunderstruck, but you guys are going to have to do it without me. I’m done.” 

Steve’s face fell. “Tony don’t do this…”

“I just held a  _ sixteen _ year old kid in my arms, begging me to save him, and there was  _ nothing _ I could do. Now maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you, man out of time, but he’s gone now,” he ranted, his voice on just this side of hysterical as he conjured the scared boy up in his mind. Peter had just been here. He and Peter had just been making upgrades to his suit this morning, the kid had conned his way into coming with Tony out to Wakanda and he was just fucking gone now. Nothing to show for the life he had. The tears welled up involuntarily, though Tony kept them in check from falling. His voice came out thick and wobbly when he spoke next. 

“I have a mother...a wife and daughter that I don’t even know if… and if they’re gone, I blame  _ you _ .” 

Tony’s finger poked Cap right in the chest, in the center of the star on his uniform. In his mind, Tony knew that it wasn’t Cap’s fault, that he was just angry, scared, and grieving already, but the man was a strong target. He took Tony’s words with only the barest of flinches. Someday he’d feel bad for this, he thought. Right now though...

“Tony…” Tony could feel his father reaching for him, trying to pull him away from Steve but he shrugged the man off.

“Here, you know what, you take this.” He reached to his chest and ripped the nano unit from his chest, the center still glowing a brilliant blue. He took Steve’s hand and plopped the unit into it. “You go ahead and find Thanos and when you do you hide, because we are done. I have  _ nothing _ else for you Cap. No money, no gadgets or shields. No trust.  **Liar** .”

Steve stared back at him stunned, his hand gripping the housing unit, as his eyes darted back and forth, scanning Tony’s face for any hint of a lie or posturing. They’d had a million fights, but this was the worst since they came to blows initially over the Accords.

“He makes a point,” Bruce spoke up, interrupting the standoff. He looked exhausted, dirt and blood covering his bare chest, all that remained from his Hulk-out being the pants that he and Tony had engineered. He was shaking a little from the adrenaline crash but even so his voice remained firm while he spoke. “We aren’t ready to go after this guy yet.” 

“And he’s not the only one with family…” Clint chimed in lowly, his brow pinched downwards.

“So, that’s it?” Steve said, defeat slipping into his voice.

Natasha shook her head. “Just for now.” She shot a concerned glance toward Clint. “Maybe you and Thor can start working on a plan and we can come back together. We need to take care of our own for now.”

“I can get you home, Stark,” the blue woman spoke up again, startling Tony with the sound of his name. She seemed to gauge some of his shock and shrugged. “I can dress that wound for you too.”

“Mind a couple tag alongs?” Tony gestured to Howard and Rhodey.

The blue woman, Nebula, did Steve say, just shrugged. “We should go now.” She pushed away from the wall and slowly started making her way back outside.

“Everyone else, I can transport,” came the voice of the fierce leader of the Dora Milaje, Okoye. She seemingly came from nowhere but it was clear that she had been observing the team for a while now. “It is what the...King would want.”

He didn’t know it at the time, but brushing past Steve’s imposing frame that night in Wakanda would be the last time that Tony would see Cap for years.

* * *

By the time that they made it onto the space ship, Tony was exhausted and fading fast. All of his adrenaline and anger had immediately deflated following the argument with Steve, all fight fleeing from his bones as he focused on the next part of his mission; getting home. 

Rhodey and Howard helped to support him on board the ship, and though Tony would normally have been fascinated to observe an actual alien spaceship, he’d had his fill of all things space, and could barely muster much more than a cursory glance at his surroundings. It didn’t seem very dissimilar from a quinjet aside from the obvious alien components, but it still felt the same inside, seemingly decked out with many of the same features.

Friday was able to relay coordinates to the lakehouse for Nebula to begin plotting a trajectory and they were airborne shortly after.

The mood onboard was not surprisingly somber and quiet. Every now and then Howard or Rhodey would flick through their phones and try to get through to someone on the other end but all communications seemed to still be off the rails. 

At some point Tony must have passed out or fallen asleep because he was being woken up by his father. 

“Tony, come on. We need to get your wound fixed up,” he said quietly, pulling Tony up from where he was slouched against his seat. 

Nebula stood just over Howard’s shoulder and Rhodey was asleep beside Tony, the War Machine armor in sentry mode at the back of the ship. It took a couple of tries to get Tony standing up now that his energy had crashed and with it, any sense of numbness from the wound. Now he felt it in every twitch, every single movement. White hot blinding pain. He groaned as he was finally pulled to his feat and began the stutter stop of movement needed to get to the medical bay. Nebula said nothing about his slowness or need for breaks, just waited in stoic silence while he collected his breath, then gritted his teeth and continued on with determination. 

By the time he was laying flat on his back, bright light fixed over his head as well as some strange equipment he’d never seen before, he felt like he’d run a marathon. He felt hot, flushed, the sweat from earlier never having gone away, making him feel even grosser than before, as the fabric of his ruined clothing clung heavily to him. 

Howard stayed close by his side as Nebula seemed to prepare whatever equipment that she needed. She didn’t tell them what she was doing, or try to fill the empty void with meaningless words. Just moved about the room as efficiently as possible. It was kind of nice not being expected to hold a conversation, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable at all, however, it did leave him alone with his thoughts which were almost worse than the forced politesse he’d been brought up to show. 

His mind kept fluctuating between Doctor Strange’s words, ‘we’re in the endgame now’ and ‘there was no other way.’ What did he mean by that? In what universe was letting a mad man decimate billions to save one man the right option? Letting innocents like Peter Parker and… He couldn’t let himself think that he had lost anyone else. That was more painful than the wound in his side, more worrisome than his father’s knitted brow every time he looked at Tony. He didn’t know. And until he knew then they would all be  _ fine. _

A quick blue light zipped across Tony’s body, not unlike the way Friday would scan and monitor for injuries at the compound, though this sudden change caught him off guard and broke him from his thoughts. He watched with a careful eye as Nebula looked over the results but she never gave anything away, good or bad, face frozen at a neutral impasse. 

“What’s the damage, doctor?” he asked, after several more moments of inactivity.

“I am not a doctor,” she simply replied, expression still never changing as she clicked another button to clear the screen. 

Tony almost snorted at the response. He was beginning to suspect after years of interactions with the likes of Thor and now Nebula that most, if not all aliens, were very literal beings. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing then?” Howard chimed in a little skeptically.

Nebula said nothing, instead she produced a very large, very sharp looking knife from seemingly nowhere, and before either Tony or Howard had any chance to react, she moved forward with a very swift and smooth motion, tucking the blade beneath the fabric of Tony’s shirt and cutting it down the middle, from the bottom seam to the top, exposing his chest to the cool air on the ship.

“Do you want my help or not?” she asked then, cutting at the sleeves so she could fully peel the fabric from Tony’s body. 

Tony’s eyes were wide from the speed and precision of her movements, she was quicker than even Natasha in her movements, but even if he hadn’t taken an immediate liking to the blue meanie, what other choice did he have exactly?

“She’s fine, Dad,” he said, as Howard helped him sit up a bit to pull the shirt away from where the blood had dried to the back of his shirt. He noticed at the mention of the word ‘dad’ that Nebula finally broke face, her eyes shifting from Howard and then to him before turning away. Interesting. 

Nebula produced a cloth and some water and wiped away most of the blood and grime surrounding the wound and Tony finally got a good look at where he’d been impaled on his own blade. It looked awful, sticking out red and puffy against the general paleness of the rest of his skin, whether from blood loss or just the winter months taking their toll he wasn’t completely sure. Either way, he was going to end up with another gnarly scar to join the rest of the patchwork on his body. 

He saw Nebula’s eyes flicker over the old marks a few times but as usual she said nothing. 

“So, you know who I am?” he asked her later as she had Howard help turn him to his uninjured side so she could close up the wound, using what Tony could only describe as some sort of laser, once she finished disinfecting it. Howard held on tightly to his hand as the chemical she applied burned, similar to rubbing alcohol, only the smell was wrong, and she quietly observed that as Tony hissed and gripped the older man’s palm until his knuckles were white. 

“You were the only Terran that ever defeated one of my father’s armies. I’m surprised that you are still alive given the bounty on your head,” she replied.

“It’s not for lack of trying,” he sighed and looked sharply down at his wound. “Guess it’s a good thing that I decided not to go on Steve’s space expedition then, doesn’t sound like I’d be welcome.”

“Only if you have a death wish,” Nebula agreed and then her eyes flickered over his scarring, “which perhaps you do. I wasn’t aware you were a warrior.”

That Tony did laugh at despite the pain. “I’m no warrior. Just a man in a can,” he said quietly, his eyes dimming a little bit as his mind reveled darkly in his insignificance in the grand scheme of the universe. Even on his worst days he hadn’t felt as small as he did now.

“Is Thanos really your father?” Howard asked, as Nebula started using the laser to close up the wound on Tony’s back first. 

Tony’s jaw was set too tightly to try and continue the conversation, the laser feeling almost like the burning pinch of a tattoo, only ramped up to the highest degree as he tried to keep from crying out in his discomfort. Howard continued to hold tightly to his hand, his other reflexively pushing soothingly through his damp, matted curls. He couldn’t ever remember his father doing that before, and it was nice, almost enough of a distraction from what was happening to his body.

If the question was too personal or bothersome for Nebula she didn’t seem to show it. Her hand remained steady and her eyes focused on her task. “The only one that I can remember.”

“I’m sorry,” Howard replied sympathetically.

“Don’t be. I used to be just like him. A monster of his own design.”

Tony opened his eyes enough to really look over the woman as she replied with the most emotion that he had seen from her so far. Hate. Despair. Loathing. He knew the feeling. It also was the first time he had really looked at her and noticed all of her mismatched parts and joints. He wasn’t sure if she was technically an alien or some sort of android but it reminded him of Frankenstein’s monster in a way, when she referred to herself as a monster of Thanos design. For a moment he set aside his pain and let himself be overcome with empathy, not pity, never pity, for the unspoken horrors that she must have gone through, that surely made his torture in Afghanistan and his resulting PTSD seem like child's play.

“All that matters is who you are now. A monster wouldn’t be helping me,” he said and carefully reached out beside him, letting his hand brush against the cool metal of her arm, just for a moment to let her know he understood, and then turned back.

Nebula stopped her movements for just a moment, and Tony felt rather than saw her take in a slight breath and exhale behind him, the little breath tickling against the skin of his back before she continued the work.

They all resumed their silence after that and Nebula moved from his back to his chest and this time he watched as she closed up the wound like magic, though it still hurt like a bitch. When she was finished, she indicated that Tony could try sitting up now, so Howard helped to push him up. Nebula inspected her work thoroughly before nodding her head and disappearing into another room.

“Does it hurt?” Howard asked softly.

“Not as much as before, but it definitely isn’t pleasant.” 

Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out his Stark phone once more, hoping for there to have been a new notification from Pepper or his mother, hell even something from Happy would have been nice, but there was nothing to be found. Instead he stared at the lock screen photo until the backlight would dim and then he pushed a button on the side to light it back up. 

If they were gone…

“They’re fine,” Howard finally spoke as he watched Tony repeat the cycle several times.

“You have no way to know that.”

“Maybe not. Call it hunch. The universe owes you a break...you’ve done all you can do.”

Tony wanted to remind Howard that the universe would never give him a break, and had already taken Peter from him. Why not Pepper or Morgan? Or his mother? Or all of them? It was his fault that they had lost, no matter how he tried to pass the blame on to Steve. Dr. Strange gave up the world for _ him _ . There was no way for that to not go unpunished. Tony Stark would not get a happy ending. 

Sensing what was going through his mind, Howard moved the last step forward between them and pulled Tony against him in a gripping hug, mindful of his bruises and injuries, but enough to bring comfort. Tony started to push away but Howard pulled him in a little more and Tony finally sighed and sank against him, accepting what comfort he could derive from his father. He’d never admit it, but it did make him feel a little better to not be the one that was trying to prop everyone else up, to be able to take comfort instead of try to give it.

Nebula stood at the edge of the room, observing the scene with that look in her eye again, like she had never seen anyone receive a hug before and honestly, maybe she hadn’t. She cleared her throat a little to make her presence known and stepped further into the room as they pulled away. She pushed a soft bundle out towards Tony.

“These belonged to the Terran who owned this ship. They should be useful to you.”

Tony accepted the bundle, a burgundy long sleeved shirt and a dark brown hooded jacket.

“Thank you.”

Nebula seemingly didn’t know how to respond to gratitude so she just crossed her arms and stepped away.

“You’re lucky to be alive with that wound. There’s still a chance for infection, but any other Terran would already be dead.”

“We’ll see how lucky I am when we land.”

“I believe each brush with death makes you stronger. Don’t waste it.”

Tony’s attention shot to Nebula’s face, the long ago words of Ho Yinsen ringing in his mind to not waste his life. Nebula didn’t register his reaction, only hardened her expression. 

“I promise, we will have our revenge for the lost.”

Anyone else might have thought she was talking about her shipmates but Tony could feel the underlying grief in her words that ran much deeper than friends. Similar to the grief he felt for Peter. He knew that she meant what she said and he hoped like hell that she’d have the chance. Instead of saying this though he just nodded his head towards her arm as he shifted to pull the burgundy shirt over his head. Howard helped him pull it down without putting so much strain on his side.

“I’m not exactly a warrior, but I am a hell of a mechanic. If you ever need anything...I owe you a debt,” he said, trying his hardest not to make it seem like he was offering her charity. Something told him that Nebula would not respond well to that. For a moment her eyes lit up but just as quick went away, like she couldn’t believe such a thing possible. 

“Yes, you do.”

With that she turned away from the pair and made her way back to the captain’s chair to complete their journey.

“I like her,” Howard said with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Tony smiled. “She’s fun.”

* * *

By the time that they finally arrived at the lakehouse, it was late at night, the sky black except for the vibrant stars that could only shine so bright away from all the light pollution of the city. 

Nebula brought the ship down in the back field, just behind the alpaca pen, and if Tony could have sprinted out of the ship and to the house then he would have. As it was, Rhodey took over helping Tony out even though he was sure that his braces had to have been taking their toll on him after such a long time using them, especially after a battle. Rhodey never complained, never faltered. Just walked as fast a pace as Tony could keep up with to try and get the answers they were all practically dreading. 

As they passed by the pen, Gerald made his presence known, following after them longingly. Tony looked all over the rest of the pen and the little that he could see of the stables but Gerald seemed to be the only one around, and he felt his stomach churn, but he couldn’t stop and comfort the animal, not yet. He had to know…

His parents' cottage seemed to be dark and all locked up so he had Rhodey bypass it. Howard would look it over he knew. Tony had to keep moving. 

The lakehouse however did not look much better, the only light on that Tony could see was coming from the porch. 

“Pepper??” he called out as they got closer. There was another car in the driveway that looked like it might have been Happy’s which made sense. If Happy had gotten a whiff of what was going on he knew that his loyal friend would have sought to protect Pepper and Morgan, unfortunately this wasn’t something that he would have been able to protect them from. 

Tony shrugged away from Rhodey once they were on the porch and barreled through the front door on unsteady feet but he was met with silent darkness. 

Maybe they were asleep. 

“Pepper? Mom??” He called flicking on the light in the front room and hobbling throughout the first floor turning on lights and repeating his call. 

He made his way up the stairs, gritting his teeth with every step as his heart continued racing once more. He popped open Morgan’s door and flipped on the light, his heart jumping into his throat when there was no one there, fully expecting now to see a pile of dust in his daughter’s bed but there was nothing. He couldn’t let out a breath yet, he still had one more room as he wobbled out and looked into his own room. 

The sheets on the bed were crumpled but other than that, there didn’t seem to be any sign of anyone having been there. 

“Shit. Where are you, Pep?” he asked, collapsing onto the bed and looking out the window. 

They can’t be gone. They just can’t. If they were gone then he would have no other reason to be here. He didn’t think that he would be able to continue living his life in a world that his wife and child didn’t exist any longer. 

“Tones…” he heard Rhodey’s voice echo up the stairs.

The dread in his stomach turned to burning fire and he suddenly felt like he was going to be sick right there, sitting on his bed. He breathed deeply a couple of times trying to settle his stomach before responding.

“Yeah?”

“I think I found something. I think…” his voice cut off abruptly but Tony heard the unspoken words.

He had found them. Or what was left.

Oh god they were gone.

All of them. 

Despite the urge to be sick and the light headed daze that he found himself in he still forced his body to stand up and march back across the hall and down the stairs to where Rhodey stood in the entrance of the living room near the television. He had tears in his eyes and he reached out and grabbed Tony by the jacket Nebula had leant him. The jacket of a dead man. 

“No, no, no. Tony, come on, lets go outside,” he started to try and lead him away.

“No! You said you found something, what did you find?”

Rhodey pushed him back another step, using his weakness against him but Tony surged forward with a burst of adrenaline, gripping Rhodey back by his own shirt. “I need to see for myself. Let me see.”

Howard came through the open door at that moment, eyes wide and face still stricken. Howard observed the scene for a moment and shook his head, out of breath like he’d ran to them, and also eliminating any last ditch hope that Tony had that his family was safe in the other house. 

Rhodey shook his head and gently released Tony from his grip, swiping at the tears that had built up at some point during the encounter.

“I just...I have to see,” Tony said, breathlessly.

Rhodey brought his hands up to cover his best friend’s and felt as Tony loosened his grip on his shirt to hold onto his hands instead. With a simple step back, Rhodey moved out of the way revealing the piles of dust that he found on the cabin floor. 

Seeing the remains of his family there on the floor, scattered into nothing but particles, the very same way that Peter’s body had broken down in his arms, sent Tony’s mind reeling, the world’s axis flipping upside down once more until he was pushing away from Rhodey and bumping past his father, out the door and onto the porch into the winter night’s air. 

He tried to take in deep breaths but he couldn’t seem to get the air into his lungs fast enough and he could feel himself begin to hyperventilate. 

They were gone. 

Truly gone.

He didn’t have to wonder any longer, he had his answer.

As if that wasn’t enough he couldn’t help but to wonder if they had been scared. If they had known what was happening to them like Peter had or if they were just here one moment and gone the next. 

The sickness that he had been holding at bay suddenly came back to life and he barely made it over the railing of the porch before whatever was left in his stomach came back up. He felt a hand at his back steadying him but he couldn’t distinguish if it was his father’s or Rhodey’s as he tried to breathe in between bouts of nausea. Thank god his mother hadn’t planted the hydrangea’s like she had wanted to last spring, not that it mattered now. She was gone too. 

“Drink this,” he finally was able to distinguish his father’s voice after he stopped throwing up for a moment. 

His father pushed a glass of water in his hand and he sipped at it, swishing it around in his mouth a few times and then spat the water out. Only once his mouth was devoid of any remnants did he take a cautious gulp to ease the rawness of his throat.

“It’s going to be alright. We will figure this out, I promise you. I won’t stop until we do,” Howard muttered with a hoarse voice, and it was his hand on Tony’s back because now he was rubbing his back soothingly. 

Tony wasn’t sure that he had ever seen his father cry in his entire life but when he finally looked at the man he caught the unmistakable glimmer going down his face and he felt himself break a little more inside. 

“Tony???”

Tony felt his entire body become perfectly still even as a chill wiggled up his spine and he felt his skin burst out into goosebumps. That couldn’t be…

“Tony!” the voice called out again, this time with more certainty and then suddenly he was looking across the yard where his workshop was and there was Pepper. There was his Pepper rushing towards him and Morgan...oh my god Morgan was in her arms and they were alive!

He dropped the water glass from his hands without a care in the world, his body moving of its own volition down the stairs and across the yard to meet his wife halfway, even as his eyes filled with so many tears that she was blurry and he could hardly see where he was walking. It didn’t matter though because as soon as they made solid contact he was falling to his knees with Pepper’s arms wrapped around him as she cried too. 

“I didn’t know what to think, I couldn’t get through to you and Happy and May….” Pepper trailed off and Tony felt his gut churn all over again. That hadn’t been his wife and daughter in a pile on the living room floor, it had been one of his best friends and Peter’s Aunt. He hated himself for the brief amount of relief that he felt that he hadn’t lost Pepper but he knew that Happy’s loss would resonate just as deeply with him when he could breathe again.

“I thought it’d be safer to stay in the workshop with everything going on since it could be locked down, we’ve just been sitting, waiting to find out what happened. Then Friday detected a spaceship but we couldn’t tell who was here, you never finished installing her sensors, you idiot,” she cried with affection, “I thought you were dead.” She clutched tighter to him, burying her face in his neck and breathing him in until Morgan whined between them when she was crushed against her parents just a little too tightly.

“We?” Tony asked, his voice completely raw.

That was when he noticed his mother holding onto his father for dear life just behind them. 

They were here. They were alive. 

“Pepper, I love you. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, sorry. I will never leave you again,” he said, and pressed a kiss to her forehead and then to Morgan’s crown. “I’ll never leave you again.”

* * *

Nebula watched from a distance as the odd Terran was reunited with the family he briefly spoke of on the ship. She was happy for him. Or as close to happy as she was able to feel. She knew not everyone on the planet would be so lucky….even she had not been lucky, her mind turning to stray thoughts of Gamora. 

She would find a way to set things right.

She would find her father and make him pay.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on guys, I'm not THAT evil.


End file.
